Sunday, December 31, 2006

How a 2500 year record could be broken

A sandbox at Wikipedia aims to beat the Mahabharata in being the longest poem. You can read it here.

However with only 1413 lines done in 3 months and with more that 1.8 million lines to go, this might take some time. Also, more importantly this will test if an open community can create something artistic / creative. If this works out maybe in the future we can have books, novels and maybe even art created by groups consisting of hundreds of thousands of people across the world.

Anyway, I have major cribs. I can't accept the fact that something called 'The Epic of Roy' can beat the Mahabharata. Also the first lines :

One day in a village in Russia, cold
A young boy named Bryce had turned thirteen years old.
He found out from the mainstream media
That there was a site called Wikipedia,
are not exactly awe-inspiring. BTW, I do not claim to have read the whole thing. As of now I am at line 57, and it's getting quite boring.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Why I am left absolutely frustrated ....

Reason : Chelsea.

Are these guys going to lose or what. Last week Everton had the better of them. They really deserved to lose that game, and they came away with 3 points. Same yesterday, at Wigan. Really, really deserved to drop two points, if not all three. I just wonder, how long can they keep coming up with such late winners and spectacular goals to stay in touch. It can't happen forever.

Remember the first day of the season last year at Wigan with the Crespo shot, the game at Arsenal where Essien scored a fantastic goal, and also I think they deserved to lose the game at Old Trafford. Man U dominated that game, and still they came up with the point. I'm totally exasperated. Yes, yesterday's win against Aston Villa was tasty, but what is more important is that Chelsea drop points, because we are going to. There just has to be a period when we will slump, and Chelsea will be on top. Then it can all disappear very quickly. What I am most worried about is that this is Chelsea's slump and they're still winning. Today I'm feeling as pessimistic as David Renwick. Hopefully, my fears will be ill-founded.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Why is it that ...

When the official websites of the Indian Army, the India Navy suck, the website for the India Air Force is much better. The best website of the lot is however, the Join the Indian army website.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Uncle Sam all over again ...

"Does contributing to printing media interests you?" (sic)
"Does throwing up all over inconsequential pieces of blogsphere excite you"
"Does seeing stupid turds like Amit Verma take over and monopolize the publishing world make your stomach turn"

If your answer is in affirmative, we have an offer for you.

I'm part of a youth magazine called yaYM (Yet Another Youth Magazine) also called as AdhooraPoona. There have been many other similar attempts of the kind, and frankly they have been pretty good. However, we decided that there was no magazine for the physically atrophied and mentally mangled. So we decided to launch yaYM. We will cover all the issues of burning importance to today's youth - Rakhi Sawant's vital statistics, progress of all your favourite stars in Big Boss and of course most importantly vital issues in education and health, like "how to stare at your teacher without contracting AIDS".

So if you think you've got the balls, then please do not apply. Only seriously confused people with nothing better to do, might consider knocking on our hollowed portals.

Please contact me as soon as you're done with recanting your religion, and saying "AdhooraPoona, Poora Poona" 200 times.

(PS: this is an obscure joke that very few people will get. But, wtf!)

Friday, December 15, 2006

Added Snap Preview Anywhere (SPA)

This blog now features Snap Preview Anywhere. SPA is a nifty tool that allows you to preview any link from this site before navigating to it.

Try it with google, yahoo and rediff.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

There are two winners here ...

One : Wikipedia, for the amazing detail.(Match that Britannica)
Two: The japanese people themselves - attraction grows immensely.

D'Oh - the thing I'm talking about is the amazing detail on Toilets in Japan article.Note the line where it says,

Depending on the exact model, these bidets are designed to open the lid when they sense an user nearby, wash the anus or vulva of the user (including a number of pulsating and massaging functions), dry afterwards with warm air, flush automatically and close the lid after use.

I remember Will Smith raving about these once in an interview, and another thing which he said has stuck,

"If you feel too much in awe of someone, imagine him on the pot with his pants down."

Always works, people.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

My Favourite Teacher

I know this will sound kind of corny, but here's to the most progressive and amazing teachers around in Pune. Bapat Sir,(rather Bapat Classes) launches his own website - check it out.

(PS: More gushing testimonial later)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

A few brilliant quotes from the sporting week

All filtered from the BBC's much bigger list.

"Giles needs removing immediately. The only thing he can turn is my stomach."
Someone on the messageboard.

"I took Kanu on the Tuesday before the first game of the season because I never had any strikers. He said he hadn't kicked a ball since last season and I asked him if he'd been training. He said 'Yes, I've been running around the park some days' and I thought 'Yeah, I bet you have!'"
Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp on Kanu.

"I had the Baggy Green in my hand a few days ago and smelt it. I love the smell - it smells of sweat and beer."
Andrew Symonds on the delights of Australia's famous cap.
(This after he was accused of not being loyal enough to Australia due to his English birth and such tosh.)

"At least I will be able to watch the Ashes, because I won't be sleeping."
Wigan boss Paul Jewell is left anticipating a restless night after his team's 4-0 loss to Liverpool.

"Get your s*** stars off our flag!"
Barmy Army to Aussie fans!

"Gilo goes up for lbw - umpire Koertzen looks at him as if he's just found him in bed with his daughter."
Cricket commentary from Ben Dirs on the BBC website for day four of the second Ashes Test.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ever wanted Wikipedia offline ?

Well now you can have it. I know it might be a bit irrelevant when you have a decent all-day internet connection, but if you are using a laptop that cannot be in a hotspot everyday or a mobile device with the same problem you might often want to have the entire net / slices of it offline. This is a problem that i faced especially when I was on dial-up. But now, there is a solution.

Say hello to, Webaroo. Webaroo is a nifty application that allows you to download the data on the internet in the form of Webpacks. These are slices of the internet created by Webaroo, and can be found under hundreds of diverse topics. And one of these is Wikiepedia. The wikipedia webpack is just 6Gb and the compressed zip is 4.5Gb. This has veeb possible because there are little to no images in this webpack as the Wikipedia images gallery at last count exceeded more than 75 Gb!

So go quick, and check this out. You never know when you might be stranded in sub-saharan desert and needed to find the closes oasis.

BTW,

You might have noticed that I switched to the new Blogger. This is actually the 3rd version of my blog. Thanks to the wayback machine you can see the previous one here. Unfortunately the first 'all green' version has not been archived. Sob.Sob.

How did we miss this!

The new Chuck Norris of the Kannada Cricket Watcher.

Kid to storekeeper: What colours is this 1:6 cricketer diecast model available in ?
Storekeeper : Just in Kemp

Q) Describe the South African team in one phrase ?
Black and White and Kemp all over.

Q) How did India get beaten in the one-day series ?
Black and Kemp

Q) What do you call an Indian female who hooks up with Justin Kemp in Russia?
Leela Kempinsky

Q) Why did Irfan Pathan go to the opthalmologist?
Because he was seeing Kemp everywhere.

Q) How were India's bottomlines after the SA tour?
In Kemp.

Q) Why did SA win the poll for the best ODI team ever?
Because they had a very good Kemp-aign.

Q) What would you do if SA lost a wicket and the Man came in to bat?
Switch to Code Kemp.
---
PS1 : Ok, ok, these are nowhere as good at the real thing.

PS2: For all those who don't get the joke, in kannada, kemp == red. Now go read again.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Perhaps Linux

Foreword: If you have not listened to "Perhaps Love" by John Denver, this will make no sense to you. So please to download from appropriate illegal means that you have. You can always read original lyrics here.

Perhaps Linux is like some software thing, a few lines of code newborn,
It exists to boot-up faster, it exists to keep it on,
And in those times of trouble, when Windows gives up on you,
The songs of the penguin will still ring true.

Perhaps Linux is like a prickly thorn, perhaps a needle hole
It is hard to install it at first, sometimes it stings you sore,
But once you get the hang of it, and figure out the rightest way,
The memory of Windows will almost fade away.

Oh, Linux to some is like the night, to some as bright as day,
For some a way of surfing, for some a way to play,
And some say Linux is GUIs, and some say command line,
And some say Gnome is the best, and some say KDE is fine.

Perhaps linux is like the open sky, full of stars and the moon,
Like the next issue of playboy, an upgrade can't come too soon,
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true,
I'll name my newest patch after you.

And some say Linux is GUIs, and some say command line,
And some say Gnome is the best, and some say KDE is fine.

Perhaps linux is like the open sky, full of stars and the moon,
Like the next issue of playboy, an upgrade can't come too soon,
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true,
I'll name my newest patch after you.

(PS: The original intent of preserving original lyrics AFAP, didn't happen completely. An out-n-out funny version is however expected soon, depending on a number of factors inluding Navjyot Singh Sidhu's position in mid-january and the availability of a certain DVD at the local library.)

Monday, December 04, 2006

Matt Stone is ripped off.

Michael Moore in his 'Bowling for Columbine'had this animation 3min feature called 'The Brief History of the United States of America". (See it on YouTube) Also IIRC, just before this clip, there is an interview with South Park co-creater Matt Stone. Going by the style of this clip, it is pretty obvious to the user that his clip must've been created by the guys behind South Park. Turns out not. IMDb states, on this page that the whole clip was another creation of the Harold Moss - Micheal Moore combine. I dunno, what to say.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to point towards a rip-off of a rip-off. The Daily Telegraph, parodies this clip to produce 'A Brief History of the Ashes'. If this draws a smirk, then be content. Also note similarity in the lines, and rehashed end portions at the end with Star Wars / Kill Bill rip-offs.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Day after exam labours ...

The day after led me to working non-stop on the Website for Chakravyuh. Please go and see it - and more importantly, do come.

Cheers,

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

These guys are good

If you'd had time over the weekend to take your eyes off the Chelsea - Man Utd game, then you'd have noticed David James' new "Clark Kent" hairdo. Now, i've never loved how it looked earlier, and contrary to much public perception in the UK, i kinda like it. Anyway make up you mind with this,



And btw the whole point of making this post was to direct my few faithful readers to this hilarious link. The guys at the BBC Fun and Games section, really take their job seriously!

Cheryl Tweedy tops list of famous celebrities in India

In an astonishing turn of events, ACC-Kneelson and Co., the statistics company announced that Cheryl Tweedy, England wingback Ashley Cole's wife and Girls Aloud star was the most recognized face in rural and semi-urban India. Cheryl Cole, as she prefers to be called, beat Sun-heartthrob Keely Hazell, American-Indian actress Aishwarya Rai and Big Boss moaner Rakhi Sawant in this poll conducted across Western and Central Maharashtra. Astonished ACC-Kneelson executive F.I.Gure told Toilets of India, that they had infact had wrapped the questionnaire sheets in some envelopes made from Toilets of India newspapers, all of which co-incidentally carried the picture of the said personailty.

ACC-Kneelson executives particularly remember the comments of a 17 year-old young boy called Digambar(Dig to his friends) who works at some of the mines in Gadchiroli - " I'd never thought coal could be so beautiful and precious." He was so earnest, that we had to include this tweed-lady in our list, and on further investigation we found that in a carefully structured campaign by Ms.Cole's executives to expand her 'celebrity blanket' they had inserted her pictures under the 'sport' sections of various national dailies, of which the ones in this previously mentioned Toilets of India has become an addiction amongst such boys as Digambar.

Suvaresh Stonefloor, officially the head of India's olympic association, but considered the First Citizen of Indian Sport and also it's Inventor, Father and Founding Figure and on whose birthday all Indian sportsman have to wear the Pink-Kurta and run the slimy streets of Pooh-ne, said that he welcomed, what he termed as a "new chapter in India's rich and glorious sporting heritage". He said that Ms.Cole should be invited to this Pooh-ne and be made the official mascot of the Pune Marathon. He attributed that such rise in sporting interest was only good for the development of sports in the country. After stringing so many words together in a few breaths, Mr Suvaresh said he felt dizzy, weak and incompetent, and was immediately admitted to the nearby discotheque.

Meanwhile Ms.Cole nay Tweedy's agents have confirmed that she is extremely "intrigued" by this turn of events, and said that she would be issuing a statement shortly. She is currently engaged in teaching Ashley Cole the nuances of keeping better possesion of the ball.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

This is compelling reading

Anurag Kashyap, the cult-man of Indian cinema is writing a blog. Read comments too. In short, fun comes.

(Tip : After numerous death threats and suchlike, thanks to George for this.)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Ultimate Status Symbol

"The author once ran into an extreme form of delivery processing when he sent an e-mail message to a person who claims to get 600 messages a day. His identity will not be discolsed here, lest half the readers of this book also send him e-mail. Let us call him John.

John has installed an email robot that checks every incoming message to see if it is from a new correspondent. If so, it sends him back a canned reply explaining that John can no longer personally read all his e-mail. Instead, he has produced a personal FAQ document that answers many questions he is commonly asked. Normally newsgroups have FAQs, not people.

John's FAQ gives his address, fax and telephone numbers and tells how to contact his company. It explains how to get him as a speaker and get his papers and other documents. It also provides pointers to software he has written, a conference he is running, a standard he is an author of, and so on. Perhaps this approach is necessary, but maybe a personal FAQ is the ultimate status symbol."

Andrew.S.Tanenbaum
Computer Networks
Chapter : The World Wide Web.

(PS: No link, i had to type this out. And no, unfortunately but not unpredictably our Computer Networks syllabus does not cover this chapter.)

(PS2: I need to get and document some more gems from that book here.)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Gazza, strip!

England's next foreign assignment is a trip to Israel. And this, as usual, gives Robbo a chance to say,

I just hope Paul Gascoigne doesn't tag along and see a sign for the Gaza Strip - he might think it's some kind of order. Those people have enough to deal with, without the troubled Geordie shimmying into town yelling Fog on the Tyne.


Read full.

However, with the "new and redesigned", Sportstar bug hitting the BBC columns as well, I'm not quite sure I like it. Robbo too is slowly fading away. Such gems are harder to find. Sob. Sob.

Friday, November 17, 2006

This one's good...

We have this thing about matching similar looking celebrities. Well, i think I found a real good one here.






OK. I know, the first one is not famous by any stretch of the imagination in India. Her name is Emmanuelle Béart, find out more here. The second is, dare i say, our very own, Gurdeep Kohli - those lovely days of Sanjeevani!

You have to accept, this is a good one!

French Poltics and AJAX ?

The french always make you gasp. The things they do are often incomprehensible, and their system manages to confound even the keenest observers. So Ségolène Royal become the official candidate for the Parti Socialiste, fine. Then they go and throw at tart at her face.(a verb for this action exists). Ok fine, he was Belgian, but so what? This guy started with Gates, and has already done a wide variety from Jean-Luc Godard to Nicolas Sarkozy.

OK, now lets examine the PS situation. They are as the name suggest France's main Left wing party, and with the lady in question getting the nod over her seemingly chauvinistic colleagues, it seems very likely that they will come to power. The 'right' wing Chirac's UMP, itself has pretty left wing like policies, to I expect the 'moderate' left to be more lefter than normal. Anyway, what surprises me is that, unlike what we've seen with the left in many parts of the world, these guys are really chic and swanky. All we need to do is look at their new Beta Site under development. It's got AJAX, draggable bars, streaming video, everything! Its really great.

Now if only, the BJP or the congress took a leaf out of these guys' books. I guess it will come, when Indian politicians can no longer ignore the sheer number of people who will be online in a few years time. Till then, for budding web-designers in India, looking for work, it's slimy college fests and non-paying poster jobs that await!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Jakob Nielsen and the Flash Gordon Code

I have always resited the use of useless flash splash pages, especially on webpages, where they serve no use, consume precious bandwidth and basically shoo away a lot of less patient and less driven clickers. So when the Webby's decide to gove awards in the category "BEST HOME/WELCOME PAGE", I thought are these guys ignorant or what. Turns out there is always a case for Flash and Splash pages. If used tastefull that is.

So, this page is brilliant, as is this. So more exploration on the Webby winners page also can provide a whole day of fun.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

It's not Sania Mirza but ...

it's Shazia Mirza. A british standup comedian (comedienne?) coming to Mocha courtesy the British Council. Here are the details:

Saturday 11 November 2006 at 7.00 pm

Venue : Mocha, Law College Road

Cheers,

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Do this ...

We here have always loved our dear old Firefox. And now we've got a brand new Firefox 2.0

So please go here, and just get a brand new set of sails to surf away!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Identity Crisis

Bewildered regular reader of the Times of India:

" What is her name ? Brangelina or Angelina ?"

OK, if this wasn't maal enough for a big comeback post, here are a few nice links i picked up courtesy a decent internet connection in a long time.

Harry Baweja and who in Adelaide

Hirak Runs, and how!

JR's review of Don. For the first time, I've found his views a bit suspicious. Damn! will have to watch it to make sure.

Cheers, and have a cracker-free diwali!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

If you are a serious blogger,

then you need to keep tabs on what the B Guys are up to.

I love you too,..

In the latest book, Asterix and Obelix all at Sea, it was at last possible to work in that hoary old gag "The galley slaves are revolting," so that an irate Caesar could tell the trembling admiral who imparts this news, "And so are you"


Anthea Bell, in a quite enlightening essay.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Before normal broadcast resumes...

I never thought I would read this in a newspaper in Tirupati, but what the hell. Everyone has said it, and still after so many years there is no better way to say it;

"Shine on you crazy diamond"

and these words, are as appropriate for this guy, as for you:

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Off und away

OK, so what if we have not been blogging recently. It is a duty for any responsible blog writer to inform his audience(or whatever part that is left) that he is heading off on a holiday and will not be available for a few more days. However we will come back with charged energy to indulge in some more procrastination. BTW we are hoping to get a decent place to watch the Asterixian affair.

If you are in Pune, have no money and still want to watch the final on big screen, you might try your luck at Alliance Franciase. They are showing the macth, and if they don't you can always practice your striking skills.(pun unintended)

Till then practise your La Marseillaise, and praise Mireille Mathieu(download link 5mb).

Au revoir !

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Quiz results of a different kind

On zigzackly's advice we took this test to test our economic inclinations.

This is what the first one threw up.



And then we took the shorter (almost ridiculous) second test. The chart on this one was however more attractive.



Take these yourself and tell me how you scored. Maybe we can fill out a joint application to this particular group, if I find someone in the same quarter.

Monday, June 19, 2006

I shudder to think ...

What would happen when COEP turns 175 years old. Going by the Wikipedia list of anniversaries it would be Terquasquicentennial. Wow! and you thought Sesquicentenary was bad enough.

BTW, on all other fronts great things are happening in college. The Comp dept. now has a lab where we can access great fast internet from morning till night. Dunno if this will continue after the vacations and when we have no specific work, probably not, but still its a start.

Then the (previously) absolutely shambolic COEP website is being ramped uo. Do check it out if you have not been there in some time. OK, some old bits of the page still irritatingly show up and it is not exactly going to win design awards, but still...

Then there is this exciting thing called Aarewah, a COEP community portal started by enthusiastic alumni. I like eveything apart from the name, but you can't have it all can you. Do see.

The to round up the COEP Vaarta for today, COEP's wiki page is coming along better than when I checked last time. There is a page on Punt Formation (though horribly incomplete), and our dear old friend is listed alongside, the first student of COEP, among others. Any guesses as to who put that up ?

(PS : If you are wondering why I have suddenly become so chivalrous to the lady by the river, this is to let you know that I did it on presciprtion. With all the previous mud-slinging that I had indulged in at my so called 'Alma Mater', i was close to getting pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, so my doc suggested that this was the only was of ever recovering. Sigh!)

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Good Work, or shall i say, Shaabaash!

Hrish, is doing some great travel writing at Karma Generation. And his photography has really improved. He is suddenly talking exposure times and what not! Anyway, looks pretty good.You can also check out his new barba-negre look.

Btw, as for the lack of frequency of posting, have been hassled for time. You will know soon what the Great One is up to. But for the moment, go and turn your tele for some entertainment. The least you can do is cry over why they show "Duniya Goal Hai", and why does Ravi Shastri try and speak hindi.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Is your webpage below 3kb ?

You would think this guy designs shitty pages. Jacon Nielsen however is the guru of usability. See - why his page looks the way it does.

And while we are on the topic of usability, check out Don Norman's list of great designs. I particularly like the multiplication thingy near the middle.

And it takes an American and a Dane to find out that there are poor souls like me sitting in India, crying out for one-click access. Obviously there are other solutions that switching to broadband,

Friday, May 26, 2006

They're real and they are spectacular !

Tribute post.

Here's To one of the best things on television. Ever.

(Trivia : did you know, the person who owns these 'effects' in the episode is Sidra, played by Teri Hatcher - who later went on to achieve much fame, in India at least, with her role as Susan Mayer in Desperate Housewives)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

SEX: It‘s good, says Mao, but not too often.

Nitin Pai calls for a resignation from the Manmohan Singh government following the events in recent past, which have been painfully repeated, across various fora. However, I can understand fully Nitin’s emotions while writing this, and would support everything that he says inasmuch as he does not demand anything as radical as a resignation.

One might recollect the events of May ’68 – the dissolving of the National Assembly and the subsequent and shocking re-election of the de Gaulle government. In fact the title itself comes from one of those famous grèves that consumed Paris during that fateful month. Much happened, much changed – and much did not.

France makes an interesting comparison with India. Though a major difference still remains, France is a developed First World economy, and India a languishing Third World also-ran.

People will tell you about how India is able to compete with China and more shit about ‘hum kisiisein kum nahii’. The truth is far from what is being said. In fact, analysts and data will tell you that China has long gone. It took off before, yes, but the relentless pace of progress has been so stupendous that even an India with Dr.Manmohan Singh’s landmark budget 10 years before would still have languished. Far behind. Unfortunately history has played out it’s hand such that the same man will rub out systematically all the good that he had done.

Getting back to France, what India needs is a similar scale, in terms of sheer percentages to achieve anything as radical as France. 2/3 of the French population went on strike, and though the revolt started as a student uprising, it was widely supported by the bourgeois, working population. Such a revolt is simply impossible in India simply because India is too big a country for anything of this sort to happen. We forget that students form a miniscule percentage of cities which form a minor percentage in India’s total population. The Manmohan Singh govt. relies on its traditional rural vote-bank, one that is un-informed and stoic at these quite ridiculous new laws.

What India needs is also a similar revolt in terms of numbers, but not in terms of ideology. The ‘68 revolts were characterized by mixed messages, pro-communist ones echoing the most loudly. The message that the revolt in India needs to carry has to be more broad-based than just ‘no quotas’. It has to demand liberalization, freedom and less govt.-control over private life and property. It has to demand an environment for growth and creativity. It has to demand all these things, using the channel of these student protests if it has to achieve anything of the same scale.

However, unlike their French counterparts, the Indian middle-class is still coming to terms with its new found economic prosperity. The middle-class will just not stand up in enough numbers for the afore-mentioned principles, although they might support a limited reservation based protest. And here is where the Indian so-called-revolt will break down. Limited scope and not enough public appeal. India is simply not ready for such a massive social upheaval, which is specifically what it needs. The govt. meanwhile is quietly going to play its own game – trade small urban areas for large rural vote-banks. It is playing with its old trump card – safety in numbers.

Welcome to Sports Land

Me and a few friends have started an exclusive sports blog. The contributors for this include sports freaks, albeit with a special liking for their own domain. We have all kinds, nuts for football, cricket and tennis. Yes, we are really nuts for sports and if like General McAuliffe at the Battle of the Bulge, you too have a special liking for the term, we redefine it here.

So Mesdames and Monsieurs, voilà, the new generation of professional sports blogging - Silly Point

Hop over and feast yourself to your brim.

(PS : Shamanth debuts with this nice post about India's chances at the Olympics)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Robert Plummer and the Bowie Theory

If you're cribbing about how expensive it's become to attend rock concerts, most likely you do not live in India and are a sucker for a Madonna gig. If you are a Indian, it is still of interest to find out why tickets abroad are so expensive, while here we can get off watching our fav. bands at a nominal cost of the possibility of broken bones and lathi-charges or at most 500 bucks. Read this - and get into asking why to basic (and probably non-trivial) questions and expect to get answers.
 
(tip : MR)

Friday, May 12, 2006

Marginally there!

Marginal Revolution the great economics site run by Tyler Cowen and Alex Tabarrok had a logo contest going on and being the avid design enthusiasts that we are, we took part with a in-half-hour photoshop design. Turns out I got a Special Mention on the site for making the final cut of selections.

Tim Harford tells us that the prices of the most sought after commodity is not absolute but relative to the so called 'marginal' product. Hopefully we have not been marginalized too much!

Here btw is my entry :



And here is the winning entry :



(PS : I wholly agree that the winning design deserves to win - but hey, I'm just a college kid with no formal training in design. So there might be future in this line!)

Friday, April 28, 2006

The Curious Incident of the Shag in the night-time.

Recent events have brought a certain kind of enterprise into the limelight, 'The Data Collection Agency'. Yes - Those lucky bastards, who get paid, to ask people questions like how big is your..., how frequently do you… and it is really really that good? It is well known that these agencies, often with extremely creative names like ABC and ONG and SEX to beat competition from others of their ilk kidnap and masquerade as the person they are surveying if he refuses to answer such questions. This is widely believed to be the main cause of the spread of AIDS in Africa and the rise in number of female suicides in southern India, not to mention the rise in the number of devdasis.

 This shocking truth was recently brought to light when it was found that a certain Mr. Pravin Mahajan, an employee of MNS, another one of these agencies, was found threatening an unrelated Mr. Pramod Mahajan, when he refused to answer the said survey. The subsequent inquest has revealed that Mr. Pravin, totally predetermined to eek out a response out of Mr. Pramod, went to the latter’s house at around 8 p.m. on last Saturday night. Finding Mr. Pramod occupied with his urologist, Mr. Pravin is said to have told Mr. Pramod to “get a life”, apparently referring to his activities on a Saturday night. This, the urologist claims, was the final nail in the coffin for an already depressed Mahajan, who promptly proceeded to choke on the condom which he was learning to wear.

 Mr. Pramod was then shifted immediately to the local Bandra Billi dance bar to alleviate his depression. Still conscious, he is quoted to have said, “Thank god for the Supreme Court!”. His family, extremely shocked by the turn of events, has pledged to stay beside Mr. Pramod, this of course excludes his wife – who was later revealed to be an employee of RSS, a major rival of the aforementioned MNS. Latest news coming in however reveals details of a lady who is said to be the star attraction of the said “Bandra Billi Dance Bar”. “The resemblance to meemsaab is both striking and uncanny” says Ramu, the Mahajans’ loyal manservant of 15 years. News is also coming in of a further deterioration of Mr. Mahajan’s condition after he too is said to have remarked something to a similar effect – “She is my goddamn wife! “

 Meanwhile, the reasons for this extremely cold and heinous attack are still unclear. Mr. Pravin Mahajan, the police have found, had been extremely lax in completing his quarterly targets as he was extremely occupied preparing his daughter for her life-determining FYJC examinations. It was under this pressure, the police speculate, that he tried to strong-arm Mr. Mahajan into submission. Other reasons include a professional jealousy and if his lawyers are to be believed “he suffers from a similar condition as Mr. Mahajan, but with a hint of homophilia”

 Today as Mr. Pramod Mahajan lies forlorn, and broken, his promising career in Spoken English virtually over, he looks upon his days in engineering college when this depression is said to have set in. That and a bloody BSNL connection are the reasons, he says, for his being in the state he is. As for Mr. Pravin Mahajan, he is just an immediate cause. Today, he is out of jail, thanks to a nice cozy settlement paid for by a company called Dereks, one of MNS’ primary clients. Sitting by his lush-green lawn outside his Peddar Road bungalow Mr.Pravin has just one advice to offer to give, to engineering students in particular – “get a life!”

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

A Hinglishman in New York

What to do when famished in New York and the heart craves for Indian food ?
 

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Saturday, April 22, 2006

mein kuch bhi karne. ko taiyaar hoon,

if you buy me a copy of


kuch bhi,

Finally,

The great man says : "I'm finished now"




other quotes from article:

"But to go out in Sunderland, score and get the best result in 50 years wasn't a bad way to go."

"When I was a young boy I wanted to play for Newcastle United, I wanted to wear the number nine shirt and I wanted to score goals at St James' Park,"

"I've lived my dream and I realise how lucky I've been to have done that."

link

Monday, April 17, 2006

Who is this God person anyway?

There comes a time in everyone's life, when the so called existential questions begin to bother you. Questions like, "What is our purpose in life?", "Is the Bird Flu virus named in hexadecimal?" and "What is the pitch of Himesh Reshammiya's voice?" These questions flash across suddenly, unexpectedly and then vanish, leaving behind a huge question mark, much like your average Ganguly innings. These questions are juxtaposed against the so called problems of day-to-day subsistence, like “Do I have enough money to buy bread?", "Does APJ have paedophilia?" and "How many pairs of ear-plugs do I need for my next Volvo trip?"

This age is usually 18 or 19. This is the age, when most people come to realize the amount of fun one could have had if one were American - like shoot teachers, visit Neverland and watch live Super Bowl on TV. It is this agony of not being American, and having to do with Channel 7-News clips of Kareena-Shaahid smooches and small-rickety Miss Jammu videos that the average 19 yr-old Jagdish Dave thinks of the aforementioned questions. These conditions however do not affect our average DPS student though who is busy answering more pressing and important matters, like “Neha” or “Pooja” and “Chocolate?” or “Vanilla?”

And it is when life gets so frustrating that one is forced to make a choice. This is the time when important questions need to be answered. ‘Do I believe in Him?’, ‘Can I pray and make Himesh Reshammiya mute?’ and ‘Can praying help one get access to American TV?’ This is when one asks, “Does this God person really exist?” and if so “Can he really ban Mahesh Bhatt from TV debates?” It is here however, at this stage, that the average teenager commits the greatest mistake of his life.

He is conceded, at this age, into believing that Maria Sharapova is a creation of God and hence He must exist, He must have topped his Geometrical Modelling class and that He must also watch ESPN. Here our Jagdish is convinced that God must be great ‘cause not only did he make Maria Sharapova but also designed hi-tech sensing gadgetry to ensure extremely well time pulses of what can only be described as extremely-satisfying-noises. Here, he however forgets that all this creation-of-God chatter made Mr. Sharapov and Mrs. Sharpova look at each other in bewilderment and suspicion. He also forgets that Sharapova’s gain was probably Sachin Tendulkar’s loss.

Later, fortunately, for a few years, 42 satisfies the curiosity for a while. Another few years are spent speculating as to, “Why 42?”, and thinking “How can 9 x 6 be 42?” By this time, however the immediate problems of day-to-day subsistence have become even more grave, like “Shit, why did I get married?”, “Does my kid have porn?” and “Will he lend it to me?” – and these ‘bigger’ questions soon become lost, forgotten and unsought. Trampled under the pressures of grishthashrama this God person soon becomes another bronze idol in a temple and another saffron-stone under the tree, seeing which the hands clasp themselves involuntarily.

And suddenly, a visit on a visit to the dentist to get your pair of dentures, you notice the receptionists spellbinding curves, and these questions spring back to life again. “Damn! Is she hot or what?” and “Is she for real?” – the same questions, albeit more rhetorical and more remorseful than before.

They just remain there. Unanswered, unattended, unmodified. They just remain - to be fondled, and caressed – right up to the grave.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

C’est Dommage

It was 11 at night, and she hadn't returned as yet. I got tense. 11 Pm was not usually the time, till which she stayed out. Then, the phone rang.

If I haven't told you already I have a fear of phones. My vocabulary isn't too good, but I guess they must be calling that 'telephobia' or something like that. However, when it's 11 at night, and no one’s around and she's not home yet - you have to take the risk. "Tring, Tring" - once. Tring Tring" twice. I braced myself. "Clak" I lifted it.

"Good Evening Madam" the voice crackled as if it had just been awoken from an afternoon siesta, "Would you like to have a The Carte Bleu?. It’s the most amazing credit-cum-debit card; it’s loaded with features and is the cheapest card around." "No, thank you", I replied - "However a young, fine lady 26 years, slender build, beautiful glowing face would do perfectly " and I slammed the phone down. Almost midnight, she's not back yet - and stupid telemarketers seem have been connected across the bloody wrong time zones.

Excuse me, if I've been a bit abrupt. My son and she have been married for over 15 years. Not that, it’s a very happy marriage, for that's quite uncommon in our community, and at the same time however, it’s quite difficult to get out of such messy situations. I myself, never ever have adored, or even loved her - but when she's not come back and it's midnight - one tends to get worried. Agreed that, that brown-guy was with her, her latest boyfriend - but Paris is an unforgiving city. Especially for celebrities like her. The French media can hound you to death - she had to be home before 11. She can be very stubborn sometimes.
However, this is neither the time nor the place to go into lenghty teary-eyed tales about my family. The narration continues ...

If the reader might remember, we were at the point, when I was cursing this particularly annoying telemarketer. Having nothing else to do, but worry - I turned on the TV. It was then that I saw it flashing on all the TV channels:

"Diana, Princess of Wales killed in road accident with her latest boyfriend Dodi Al Fayed near Paris. It was just past midnight when their car hit ..."

"Too Bad" I remember myself saying - before I called my secretary.

A press release was in order expressing my deepest regrets.

And how are you, Whereistheex !



Wish exams were as simple as this!

(Via email from : Prasanna Kovalam)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Filter Blogging

This had to be on my blog - and if par hazard you haven't heard of this, then, good, another purpose served.

There, the case rests.

(grâce à - Amit, George and Ramanand)

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Aakhir Q

(being the next, albeit more homogenized, indigenized version of the Seinfeldian series.Please see previous attempts - 1, 2, 3)

OK, here, I’ve said it, I just love amusement parks. The roller coasters, the giant twirling thingies, the throw-me-from-the-top-i-will-catch-you machines, the cotton candy, the amazing high drops - I just can't get enough of . But if there's one thing that really bugs the hell out of me at amusement parks, it's the queue line.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with standing for 10 minutes to get a shot at that 50 foot, upside-down coaster. In fact, it's a good appetizer and looking at everyone's faces as they get off makes the whole experience even better. People are quintessential to making the whole experience memorable. However, it's when people are not there that the queue upsets me. How, you ask?

Well they have this twisty turny, fixed to the ground Herculean pillars, around
which you have to go round and round and round, when no one's freakin' there! And these roa-constructors or whatever they are called, make them real heavy-duty for the Summer-cum-National Holiday crowd, and mind bogglingly long the whole ensemble can get. Frankly it's just a pain in the neck to have to go around 50 freakin' rows of umm.. rows, every single time, a ride is unpopular, or simply deserted.

Now, are you telling me that they can design make-up equipment that makes even Bipasha Basu look good, but you can't make adjustable-in-length queue restraints. Put some holes in the ground, stick the restraining sticks in them when they need it and remove it when not! Dog, is that difficult! That's when the French would say, C'est incroyable!

PS - Sideline Irritant : Another thing that irritates the hell out of me is when they write 'Q' in big capital letters. I understand when FedEx did it to save paint, but this is really getting a bit too much, a'int it?

A Joke I Wish I Hadn't Made

It's a shame really that the father of the Free Software Movement should be called Stall man.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Another Computing Reshammiya Joke

What are the the latest versions of Java ?

marJAVA and mitJava.

;-) sorry, couldn't resist.
btw, here's the previous one.

(PS : Elsewhere, losers remain losers and
guess how Melbourne has a big problem.)


(Tip : Anay)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Good Morning! The Answers are up.

Answers to the Online version of Chakravyuh are up.

Click to find Q+A+Scores.

We know you guys don't like us,

but saying

"Everywhere you look there'll be lenses longer than Old Trafford injury time."


is a bit too much.

Understood, Robbo?

Friday, March 10, 2006

The Whole Shambolic Regatta Experience

If you are a COEP student, then the whole year is treated as a culmination to the regatta. A supposedly breath-taking experience involving adroitly manouvered boats, amazingly choreographed sequences and the grand display of gaiety and fireworks. Unfortunately, due to this incident, last year's regatta was cancelled and students from my batch had to spend two years in the aforementioned state of pent-up exaltation.

So when, the day finally came, I managed to wake myself up from stock-piled apathy towards the entire cultural scene in college to attend the show. Now, there are two ways how an event can be bad - either it is badly organized or the actual content is bad. To take an example from my wide range of hobbies (read quizzing, quizzing umm...) a nice big B-School quiz is mostly well organized, ( read nice AC hall, smiling pretty chicks and personal i-cards) but with a QM with an amazing sense of humour, esp. when it comes to joking about facts. On the other hand, there are quizzes that we enthusiastic college kids, and just-out-of college kids do, which have an excellent quality of questions(note the bragging) without the precise adjustment of parameters for ensuring good organization.(read NO pretty smiling chicks)

These events ranks accordingly as far as I am concerned :
1. Events with good content and good organization. (Pretty Chicks with an ugly QM)
2. Events with good content, not-so-hot organization.(ugly QM, ugly chicks)
3. Events with bad content, hot organization. ( hot chicks, vivacious i-lie-through-my-teeth QM)
4. Bad content, bad organization.

As far as the regatta was concerned, (commencing checklist)
Hot chicks - you kiddin' ? | Start on time - ya right? | Nice comfy seating - business class ! | Interesting - another-sarcastic-answer

Thereby it being classified under section IV - Bad Content / Bad Organization.

In short, a lot of crap happened. However I will use the 'telematches' section to demonstrate how apallingly shoddy the whole thing was.

In the annual regatta there is a particular section called as 'Telematches' - or fights in boats. Dunno as to how it happens every year, but this year there were two groups of boats - one lighted in green and the other in orange. (note to self - verify India's national colour) Then the commentator proceeds to explain the history of the subcontinent as it is subtly depicted by the movement of 12 crassly made naval formations.

This is 'la vérité absolue' according to the COEP boat club. :

1. If India wanted it could have easily rolled over the entire Pakistani army during the '47 war, but " for the principle of peace and love and taking pity upon the Pakistani people" she signed a peace treaty and asked her army to retreat.

2. Soldiers of the Pakistani army carried out the IC-814 hijacking and Indian commandos "putting their lives on the line" rescued the hapless passengers on board.

Pls. to note that in all the above events, the respective conflicts were extremely well depicted, in the clearest gory details - using diwali-rockets held at an intial angle of 20° in the assailants hands. However the administration is the least bit worried about possible accidents, while dealing with horizontally fired fire-crackers - the have suitably equipped each participant with a life jacket.

What ensued was even shittier, with the commentator tearing out a few pages from the original quatrainman's diary, predicting the reunion of India and Pakistan( along with sudden praise of India's accepting and foregiving nature) , and an ensuing nuclear battle with China. Fortunately keeping in mind Mr. Bush's visit to India, the whole topic of America did not arrive at all.

One must remember the situation of the observer, who is by now quite bemused and tired, after being crammed on a rickety old wooden plank, with hordes of students chanting - 'Pakistan chya aaiichaa ..... ' (read rude non-translatable phrases in Marathi) . Jubiliant applause follows once the multi-lighted cast and crew of the Anil Sharma flick take their bows (pun intended, note-to-self: is it necessary to say even if it is intended) every rocket trying its hand at boat burning.

As so, I decided that enough was enough, and came home. Procrastinated for a few days. Then, I wrote this.(note-to-self : need to work on endings)

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Why did the scots love Crash ?

Because they heard that it's a Haggis creation.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Blank Noise Blog-a-thon.

Support these guys in the amazing work that they are doing out there. However the question that greatbong asks, remains in my mind too, "do road-side romeos read my blog" - I fervently hope that they do ;-)

Meanwhile a sample of what women are saying on blog-a-thon. Some really powerful stuff.

* Chinmayee
* Sakshi
* Rohini
* Premalatha

Cheers,
(we will soon return with more insignificant, trivial issues, bear with us for the inconvenience - this however was important)

Cook-it-up with . . .

"Alastair Cook's debut was typical of a brilliant effort by the England cricket team in Nagpur. He was more difficult to shift than the smell of fags on your darts shirt.

Even Boycott was suggesting he should be getting on with it at the end of day four. "


Robbo about Alastair Cook's century on debut.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Main Samay Bol Rahaa hoon !

Nitin Pai, in this excellent post, narrates the politics of time.

And if you're too bugged to be interested by subtle international politics, there's always the other side to savour, that is this:

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way . . ."

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Solaris

(link)

Andrei Tarkovsky
's Russian answer to Kubrick's 2001. Stunning, blinding if not anything more.

Not often do Sci-fi movies have sentimentalities, and not often is it hard to delineate a sci-fi flick from the chaff. Yes, Solaris (or Solyaris) is definitely sci-fi being essentially based upon Stanisław Lem's novel of the same name. However, forget the light-sabres and the detonating explosions - if you ever needed a cult-sci-fi movie, this was it.

The initial part winds on and on, being extremely delectable and despicable at the same time. Amazing shots (esp. for the time) of the traffic winding on, the house, the narration bearing little-to-no significance to real story that is to unfold gazillions of miles away. Anger at overwhelming liberties taken and amazement at shear shot-angles and characterizations. Then the idiots walked out.

Cut-to yellow, single-big-bulb-sticking-out space station, near the astounding living-organismic planet of Solaris. Intense, passionate exchanges amongst crew. Our hero Kevin, loves the image-unreal 'wife' Hari who has materialised onboard, gets emotionally attached, fights moral battles of epic proportions, with himself, crew members and Hari. Some scenes of extreme, elucidatory philosophical and philological battles, brilliant birthday party scene and Hari-comes-back-to-life scene. Annihilation, grief, despair. Cut-to back to earth, self-introspectory hero and retrospective end, with a twist.

All in all,

Fantasy? yes. Science fiction? mostly. Entertaining? maybe. Excruciating? - definitely. Worth-it? Hell, yes.

(awating comments on the GC attempt)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Online Quiz - Chakravyuuh 2006

Hello everyone - I had conducted the 6th Annual COEP Open Quiz - Chakravyuuh. Here are a few questions. Please leave answers in comments.

Here goes..

1. ‘Achilles and the tortoise’ is the most famous one, which says:
"In a race, the quickest runner can never overtake the slowest, since the pursuer must first reach the point whence the pursued started, so that the slower must always hold a lead."

Other famous ones include:
"That which is in locomotion must arrive at the half-way stage before it arrives at the goal.”

"If everything when it occupies an equal space is at rest, and if that which is in locomotion is always occupying such a space at any moment, the flying arrow is therefore motionless."

Zeno's (or Xeno) Paradoxes


2.X is a famous character, which is allegedly based on Y, though this claim is vehemently denied. Y had an arrangement with bandleader Tommy Dorsey, due to which Dorsey owned virtually owned 43% of Y, for life. Allegedly Y strong-armed his way out of this contract, with the alleged involvement of Y’s mentor Willie Moretti. This incident is one of the major points of similarity between X and Y.

X- Johnny Fontaine, Y - Frank Sinatra

3.The poet-editor William Cullen Bryant and the landscape architect Andrew Jackson Downing were increasingly worried about the problems engulfing their city. Hence they made a request, which gained widespread support. To actuate their plans the architects Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux were from 33 submitted in competition for a $2,000 prize. What resulted?

Central Park in New York

4.The Coriolis effect is an apparent deflection of a moving object in a rotating frame of reference and is named after Gaspard-Gustave Coriolis, a French scientist. A famous application of this effect is X. X was the first dynamic proof for the rotation of the earth (aberration of starlight, stellar parallax etc. being the ones before) in an easy-to-see experiment, thereby creating a justifiable consensus in the everyday world.

Focault's Pendulum

5.Her first name comes from the Latin for ______ , and it probably represents absent-mindedness and unconventional patterns of thought, since in ancient times the ____ was thought to induce insanity in people. Her second name is the combination of ____ and ______, two extremely positive words, which somehow seem a bit amiss to describe her. Another theory is that she gets her last name from Elliot _____ Grant Watson, who wrote numerous books highlighting the insufficiencies of Darwinism.
Name the character.

Luna Lovegood

6.Though the French alphabet uses the same characters as English, their individual
pronunciations are often different. So the letter R is pronounced with a distinct ‘e’ mixed with the ‘r’. Also the letter ‘g’ sounds a lot like the letter ‘j’ in English. What is the significance?

This is how Georges Remi(RG) became Hergé.

7.Around the turn of the century, seven brothers of the ________ family immigrated to California from Italy. Working together, they made strides in aviation by inventing the first enclosed cabin monoplane. Later around the 1956 one of the younger members of the family, 8yr old Kenneth _______ developed an arthritis problem. So they came up with an innovative therapy pump to help relieve his pain. This son realized the product’s potential and it has since gone on to become this company’s flagship product. What company?

Jacuzzi

8.Complete this definition proposed by Archbishop Desmond Tutu:

A person with ________ is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.

Ubuntu

9.It is common practice for partner companies of Unix to name their companies so that they indicate an alliance. One such company was a particular German company (insignificant), which was sued by The Albert _____ Corporation for copyright infringement. What seemed to be the problem?

Blank is Rene, All these companies used the -ix suffix, thereby upsetting the creators of Asterix.

10.Connect.
· A county in Scotland, birthplace of Sir George Murray.
· Robert _________, 4th earl of Buckinghamshire.
· Lord Thomas Townshend _______, a former Home Secretary.
· A former PM and close confidante of Queen Victoria in her early years.
· Consort of the British king William IV.
· Baronet Sir Thomas Makdougall _________, soldier and astronomical observer.
· 4th placeholder in BBC's list of 100 Great Britons

All cities in Australia.(Perth, Hobart, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Brisbane, Darwin)

11.Fill blanks.
MIKE: Who has an itch to be filthy rich?
LIZ: Who gives a hoot for a lot of loot?
MIKE: who longs to live A life of perfect ease?
LIZ: And be swamped by necessary luxuries?
MIKE: _____________________
LIZ: I don't.
BOTH: And I don't 'Cause all I want is you.

Who want's to be a millionaire

12.It was primarily formed as a Sikh suicide squad to rebel against the Mughals in late 17th century. The members were also called as 'nihangs'( persian for crocodiles- a name first used by the Mughals for their own suicide squads), and wore a distinctive blue uniform. What?

The Akali Dal

13.He is considered to be one of the early proponents of a scientific approach to agriculture. He helped transform agricultural practices by inventing or improving numerous implements, the most notable being the seed drill, which he invented in 1701. He advocated using horses instead of oxen, invented a horse-drawn hoe for clearing weeds, and made changes to the design of the plough which are still visible in modern versions.

Jethro Tull

14.Joseph-Ignace _______ , was a French doctor and member of the National Assembly. He was unhappy with the way something was done, and wanted to introduce precision, accuracy and elimination of human errors/intervention. Hence he invented the ______ , though contrary to his wishes, the human element still remained.

Guillotine

15.Rain Ruler and CODA are two programs to do something. CODA is the one that is officially used and is not available in public domain. The other however is a copy of this technique and is available for free distribution. What do these programs do?

Calculate scores by the Duckworth-Lewis method.

16.Advertisement for what ?

" illeniu "

it just isn't complete without ____________

M&Ms

17.Identify



The Scarlet Pimpernel

18.Its ironic that most people can't identify this person in this form. Here he is playing 'Uncle Fester' in the Adams Family TV series in the mid 50s. Who ?



Jackie Coogan (The Kid)
19. What ?



The Spread of the Great Bubonic Plague (Black Death)


20. Few lines from a print ad: Fill in the blank.

Kaun Hai Yeh ___________?

_______ saw you flirting with the new girl in marketing.
______ knows you play Solitaire on the computer.
______ put a firewall on your Yahoo messenger.
______ could be standing right behind you and watching you read this.

Hari Sadu

Scores:

Raghavan Sarthy - 10
Amit Pandey - 3
George Thomas - 12
Ajay, Chris, Kanishka and Sangita - 8
bongopundit - 12.5
vijay kurhade - 4
Shreekanth Reddy - 17
Ravi Handa- 13
Ramesh Shananth - 3
Suraj - 6
Varun - 2

(Also a multitude of anonymous answers, which have been published in the comments section.)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Chakravyuh 2006

I am organizing the annual COEP Chakravyuh Quiz Event. Promises to be a lot of fun. So if you are in and around Pune, and even if you have some urgent work, now you know what to do.

Chuck it.

Details :
Venue : COEP Auditorium
Saturday, 25th Feb.11 Am.
Open Quiz, team of two.

Cheers,

Friday, February 17, 2006

Credit, when it is due.

I know Padma Shri. Sania Mirza sounds awful, but here is one man who fully deserved the honour. And now, The Economist, profiles his work - quite an honour for an Indian civil engineer. An area, methinks more underdeveloped than women's tennis in India. Wot say?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Friday, February 10, 2006

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Worst Design Award

(Material for Seinfeld. See previous efforts 1 , 2 .)

What is it with the ice-cream spoon ? You know the small flat one, with a curved end in a shape of a real spoon's shadow. Why does it have to be that way ? Can't they give it a bit of a curve ? You know, you're all in the mood to have that Nuts-and-Raisin , Mango Seasoned Sundae and he brings it in that big glass bowl - with that stupid flat spoon. "You can have as many as you want Sir, but we refuse to give you curved spoons. It has to hit the roof of the mouth while you eat it, that is how an ice-cream has to be enjoyed." Oh, I see!

Even if they hadn't thought of it before, they can change it now, can't they ? I refuse to accept that the ice-cream churning out community in India is clever enough to make waffle-cones in chocolate flavour but utterly incapacitated when it comes to making curved spoons. My claim is that the only reason why these spoons should even be allowed to occupy the fast diminishing space on shop-shelves is because millions of nursery school kids depend upon them to make small pretty little huts. You know in craft class they have to stick these sticks on paper to make villages and that sort of thing. That, my friends, is the only reason why these little fiends should be allowed to survive on the face of this planet!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Simply Brilliant

Mark Steyn a columnist for The CHICAGO SUN-TIMES has this quite brilliant article about the storm in the the Danish tea-cup incident doing it's rounds. Here is a nice excerpt.

Denmark! Even if you were overcome with a sudden urge to burn the Danish flag, where do you get one in a hurry in Gaza? Well, OK, that's easy: the nearest European Union Humanitarian Aid and Intifada-Funding Branch Office. But where do you get one in an obscure town on the Punjabi plain on a Thursday afternoon? If I had a sudden yen to burn the Yemeni or Sudanese flag on my village green, I haven't a clue how I'd get hold of one in this part of New Hampshire.


And here is another.

Jyllands-Posten wasn't being offensive for the sake of it. They had a serious point ... The cartoons accompanied a piece about the dangers of "self-censorship" -- i.e., a climate in which there's no explicit law forbidding you from addressing the more, er, lively aspects of Islam but nonetheless everyone feels it's better not to. That's the question the Danish newspaper was testing: the weakness of free societies in the face of intimidation by militant Islam.


hat-tip : instapundit.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Big Break

(Material for Seinfeld - 2. See previous here.)

Nowadays every channel you zap to, there's this big red banner at the bottom - 'Breaking News'

Any second, any hour of the day, any channel, there is a news breaking. Breaking here, breaking there, thick and fast - what I am I to do, 'A widow is getting burnt, bus rates in Bombay might go up' - don't know all the breaking news. What am I to do ? There's just so much breaking news!

And by the way, why do they call it breaking news anyway - is it breaking out of a cocoon, or does news come out of some convoluted, journalistic vortex hidden somewhere in the layers of space-time."Hey don't go near that building, a news is breaking there. Yup, that's it - it's just completed it's incubation period,it's
just peeking out - should be out in a minute. Shhh! don't disturb it."

And what is it with the bus rates in Bombay. They've not even gone up, for heaven's sake. They 'might' go up. How is that breaking news? I'll tell you what that is - that's broken news, you can't break it again. Sorry - I broke it, yes bus rates in b'bay - they 'might' go up any time now -that story - that was MY big break!

Saturday, February 04, 2006

My Last shot at boosting hits.

If Emran Hashmi is a serial kisser, then who is a parallel kisser ?

Thanks to Kunal T for the joke and Gaurav for suggesting its post-worthyness.
As for the title, I believe the two most popular things in India after Himesh Reshammiya are E#Me and cheap SMS jokes.

The answer :
(highlight the following portion)
-- > [Ravana.]

I know engineers will enjoy this joke better.

(PS : Check out the all new, Boat Club Quiz Club website.)

Friday, February 03, 2006

My Double-Casting Couch



After Ramanand puts up his nominations for his triplets, here comes my own uttar in an unchartered pradesh. However there seems to be a bit of a voice problem, damn!

(PS : Also check out Ravi's excellent post profiling the Hindu's decline. I wish I could have seen how amazing the 'old' Hindu might have been.)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Yeh bandaa kuch din ke liye vyast rahegaa . .

Yes - this is the disadvantage we young, college bloggers have to some other generally jobless people.

We've got exams.

and soon.

(PS : If you're in and around bangalore this is one place you should be going.)

(PPS : also to note Quiz-O-Mania at VIT, Sat. 11:30 am)

Friday, January 27, 2006

A Million Little Lies

Oprah's book club recently recommended 'A Million Little Pieces' by James Frey. A book of 'memoirs'. Turns out, he was bluffing.

Fiction passed under the guise of fact, and what did he get - a nice old spanking from Momma Oprah.

The publishers though outwardly disgusted are jumping for joy - and the author has got the two greatest publicity pushes that an author can hope for - Oprah Book Club nomination, and Oprah public renunciation.

At last check James Frey was laughing his way to the bank.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm telling you for the last time + 1.

(a.k.a some material for Seinfeld to try out)

Why is it that these tennis players have to carry their big heavy bags themselves after the game. You know, they've played a Five-set roller coaster of a match, one player wins the final set 18-16 and then he looks to the sideline and says - 'oh boy, the bag's got to be carried, I've got to fill it up with my all my rackets and carry it all the way back to ' I don't know wherever it is that they carry big heavy bags to.

Why can't they have someone to carry the bags. They've got all those over-enthusiastic kids running all around those stupid balls all the time, are you telling me they're too tired to carry the bag ! (then in a kid's voice) 'No, I'm not carrying the bag - no, not the bag! You give me a thousand balls to chase around - I'll do that, but the bag? Nah ! I'm too tired for that '

Friday, January 20, 2006

Bill Bryson Redux

My cousin, Hrishi who lives in Sydney, has taken a sabbatical from work and is currently touring all the parts of India - and better still, blogging at Karma Generation.

So from Rameshwaram to Kashmir to Darjeeling he will be doing it all. Armed with his Lonely Planet India and new Canon IXUS 55 he will be doing a scratching exercise across the sands and the snowcaps. He'll have, I'm sure, interesting economic fundaes, fresh Aussie takes on life and of course - some amazing examples of his march towards photographic excellence.

But remember, he's an Aussie-Indian and you must spare him, if he sees this movie, twice.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Acting lineage put to good use.

D.Dharmendra (Dhammo) IIML alumnus and a classmate of Manjunath, truly showed that there is really something that the Dharmendras of this world can do.

Running marathons as opposed to burbling all the time, and using the opportunity to run for Manjunath - amazing work man.

Bravo !

Cheers,

Thursday, January 12, 2006

We are not prould of you

The few initial years of my computer typing life were spent learning the qwertys and yet somehow I'd always had this penchant for making really stupid and prominent typos. Now I suppose I've become more careful, mostly probably due to the ridicule and castigation of friends.

But then comes a day, when I, the great typomaster of yore find a grave error in a tagline nominated for the tagline indibloggie. And then the guy acknowledges.

Damn! I knew 'set a theif to catch a theif' meant something.

Generous Tip to : Kunal S

I am

PERMANENTLY licenced to kill.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

The Stupid Things That We List

What's common to Amisha Patel, Aishwarya Rai,Katherine Hepburn, Norah Jones, Eric Cantona, Greta Garbo, Tom Cruise, Natalie Portman and Denzel Washington among others.

Find out for yourself, here.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Campaigning for Bihar begins . . .

No, I've not been reading an old newspaper. It's just that 'Miracle Man' Nitish Kumar after having robbed us of aaluu from our samosa, is now planning to attract all the NRB investment to his state. Now before your imagination goes bonkers, NRB stands for Non Resident Biharis (lol), and I suppose that includes the hordes of Bihari immigrants in Calcutta and Mumbai.

How, you ask. Voila 'Bihar Calling'. After locking horns with laaluu over his prolonged exploitation of Bihar, Nitish Kumar is seen proudly proclaiming excellent infrastructure and 'seeds of security' in Bihar. A slick campaign, no doubt - but hopefully backed by action on the ground. Also to note was NK's fervent appeal for investment at the currently going on Pravasi Bharatiya Din at Hyderabad.

PS : Also to note Renuka Chaudhary's 'Athithi Devo Bhavaa' ad - which IMHO should get the 'most inadroitly shot ad' award. It shows a local 'feeling-up' a firang lady, and the lady's Indian friend promptly appears on the scene and tells the man "This is why tourists don't come to India". Sick !

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

College, Cricket and College.

Good friend, and cult sports quizzer Aniket starts blogging here. And yes, since i'm on the contributors list too, i might pop in sometimes.