Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Do Check out

I've been discovering a few good online comics recently. And no they are not four lettered nonsensical words beginning with x.

Salil recommends Fly You Fools, which is on the whole quite appetizing.I recommend "See Mike Draw." On initial reading I particularly liked these two.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Two (original) jokes for the day

Why did Raju submit just half a picture for his essay competition?
Because it had a 500 word limit

Why did Thaimei feel sad that she had lost her shin guard?
Because of reasons of personal attachment.

What is common to ...

Steve Redgrave, Sebastian Coe, Daley Thompson and Bradley Wiggins haggling over a match in August
a 10-foot high stack of cash being pursued by a line of footballers
a restaging of the Gunpowder plot
Emperor Hadrian, keeps pointing at his sundial and (saying) to "get on with it".

They're all likely to feature in another 4 years when Britain decides to show the world "what its made of". At least according to Robbo in this piece here.

But the most important point - and one to which he concedes right at the start is that "the idea of organising 40,000 Brits into one four-hour spectacular is a complete non-starter."

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Lyrics - Tun Ho Toh - Farhan Akhtar - from Rock On

तुम हो तोह ...
फरहान अख्तर

तुम हो तो गाता है दिल
तुम नही तोह गीत कहा
तुम हो तो है सब हासिल
तुम नही तो  क्या है यहाँ
तुम हो तो है सपनो के जैसा हसीं
एक समां

जो तुम हो तोह यह लगता है
के मिल गई हर खुशी
जो तुम न हो यह लगता है
के हर खुशी में है कमी
तुम को है मालूम
यह जिंदगी

तुम हो तोह राहें भी है
तुम नही तोह रस्ते कहा
तुम हो तोह यहाँ सब ही है
तुम नही तोह कौन यहाँ
तुम हो तोह है
हर एक पल मेहरबान
यह जहाँ

जो तुम हो तोह हवा मैं भी
मोहोबत्तों का रंग है
जो तुम न हो तो फिर कोई
ना जोश ना उमंग है
तुम मिले तोह मिली
यह जिंदगी

Lyrics for Tum Ho Toh, sung by Farhan Akhtar, written by Javed Akhtar for the movie Rock On. Lyrics in devanagari.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Come armed with a feed reader ...

because India's short, pudgy and slightly dark-skinned answer to Dave Barry has finally resumed blogging. He's decided to shift to Wordpress too, now that he's going the whole nine yards - and he's forgetting things and getting scolded by women he does not know. Ah! just like the good old days.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Waking out of slumber to link to ...

Brangan reveals another side to his writing. And what can I say, but to agree wholeheartedly!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tweeting finally!

You can find my twitter-droppings here : twitter.com/abhishekn

And yes, in case you were wondering there is a RSS feed for that too.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Hate the new Dilbert.com?

If you, like me, cant do without your daily dose of dilbert you must hate the new site redesign. Even the email they send to me is now overloaded with hajaar images, mashups, flash and what not.

Well the best thing about Scott Adams is that he's a geek somewhere far down. So for all of us, he created (or got created) Dilbert Fast. Welcome to hassle free Dilbert!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Towel Day!

any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

I'm celebrating towel day. I have a brand new pink cloth towel around my nape as I walk around at home. Hopefully I'll get a picture to show to you guys.

All the info about celebrating Towel Day can be found here. Go ahead, and join in!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Another fan-post

I am a huge fan of Shamanth's writing. Unfortunately he writes very infrequently. I like this post a lot. Do go through the archives. There is some really good stuff in there.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Did you know?

This came via Wordsmith today.

After Ambrose Everett Burnside (1824-1881), who served as a general in the
Union Army in the American Civil War, and who earned more recognition for his
side whiskers than for his military career. Eventually the term burnsides
morphed into sideburns as such a facial pattern was on the sides of a face.

They're doing five words about facial hair this week. I cant wait for the rest!

What other activity?

Ok, Ok. For people who know me IRL, this should've been up a long time back. Anyway, I have got into IIM, Calcutta. And taking this as an inspiration I have decided to blog about this separately. Unfortunately this means that blogging here will be sporadicer than ever. I don't mean it to be this way, but going by the famous no-time-to-breathe schedule that one has to follow in the IIMs, I dont think I will have time to do justice to both, and in that case, esp. for IIMC related stuff that blog will get precedence,

Of course, I love this blog and could never let it go. (Even though I forgot it's 4th birthday on the 30th of March). I shall return here from time to time, so don't delete the feeds for this blog in a hurry.

But definitely say hi to my new IIMC blog! The RSS feed is available too.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

More Linklove

I've been slacking off on my blogging recently. I promise I shall return.

Anyway, you can enjoy this Robbo column till then.

In all the uproariously funny lines that he writes, he makes a point that I will never forget. Talking about Ronnie O'Sullivan he writes,

"If you judged a sporting entertainer by the number of times you gasped at what he did ..."

I'm going to be using that barometer.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Awesome is how I feel

I've never felt so absolutely amazing as I do now. Not only have United progressed to the CL final, but my very own dear Scholesey scored one of his trademark 25-yarders into the top right hand corner to secure the game for us. I cannot even begin to tell you what a huge fan I am of his, and he is by far my fav. united player of all time. Awesomeness is coming, and rapidly.

Anyway - this would be a good moment to introduce you to Saket and his online blogging self. Happy blogging mate!

PS: Please leave comments about how the cocked-up the Ten Sports commentary was. Expletives in Hindi welcome. I will not even deign to curse their total lack of appreciation of genius at the Scholes goal.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Advice to people new to this part of the Blogosphere

Read the George Thomas blog regularly.Or even better, subscribe to it.

For those who came in late (for whom this post is intended anyway) GT blogs mostly about Hindi Cinema. I'm always left amazed at how closely he manages to follow the bloody mess that is the Hindi film industry sitting that far away in Amrika. You could use a thousand cliches about "the internet brings us closer", but the fact of the matter is that we, as in the Indian Film Industry are not as well represented as we should be on the internet. Sure, we have cretin reporters from Rediff and the like, but we need more of this kind of stuff.

Anyway, to introduce you to George's writing, firstly don't shy away from it because its "hindi films". Even if you have no interest in them (something which I can understand) you still would be missing out on smashing alliteration like "LipLock Lallu" and the whole smorgasbord of exotic vocabulary that the man uses. And when I say exotic, I mean exotic - these are a few words from his latest post. cheiloproclitic1, exosculation2, crinigerous (in the quite wonderful alliteration crinigerous cretin) and dipping further into the 'invent'ory with kissee and smoocheroo.

All this in an article about Eemram #me, and his latest kissing exploits in the movie Jannat.

1 : cheiloproclitic as this source tells me means "Characterized by an erotic attraction to women's lips." Wow, I say to these people, now THAT's an useful word. Note how I had to refer to a specialised dictionary to find out what that meant. define: on google are unlikely to be of any use as far as GT is concerned.

2 I've asked the man himself what that means, since the great goblin was of no help. Hopefully will hear from him soon.

PS: I shall also use this opportunity to spread some linklove to the quite recent "The Movies and Moves of Vishal Bharadwaj". GT and JR are partners in crime.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Out of the Quote-idien

"The only way not to do silly things in one’s early 20s is to die at 19, .. "

Amit from this otherwise typical post.

Reservation Please!

This post is for all those who keep asking me about my IIM results. No - I would like to say - they're not out yet.

And to tell you the truth, I'm kind-of relieved that they're delayed. Though this issue of reservation makes us wait-listed passengers, it is a little surprising that most of us are unconcerned. Or at least the "most of us" that I know. And a few like me are perhaps even gleeful. And its not because I'm afraid in some way, or "unable to face the future".

They'd told me about self-doubt and uncertainty and all that kind of stuff via stories and anecdotes. I listened to them as faraway emotions that I would never have to face. A bit like you reading "What to do if you come face to face with a Tiger". You listen, attentively even, but knowing that stuff like this is never going to happen to you.

But I'm afraid - I think - that it has. And at a moment like this, I'm glad that there is still that element of "luck". For I'm trusting random chance, which is how I see luck, to make my decision for me. I know this idea of leaving it up to a celestial (pseduo?) random number generator is crazy to say the least. But, that is one thing I'm sure I want to do now. Something crazy. In a safe sort of way.

A position someone I know would call a "weak-ass way of thinking". Again, what can I say but quote Metallica - Sad, but true.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

When I pay tribute to words

I knew about the word "amanuensis" - and like Shah Rukh Khan the race driver and Kajol, the spoilt brat in Baazigar - I fell in love with it. Instantanement. It just felt wonderful to say - that latin feel, just rolling off the tongue. I sensed the root "man-" which pertains to the hand, and guessed it involved some sort of manual work. Princeton Wordnet obliged me with this :

"stenographer: someone skilled in the transcription of speech (especially dictation)" -

Ok. I said to myself. I get that.

But like most love, there was a problem. I didn't really GET it. I would never for example have enough courage to use it in a sentence. It was there lurking, like a shy peacock. I knew it was male, colourful and potentially beautiful. But, only potentially.

But age and experience they say solves most of these tiny knots that dot the timeline of personal experiences. And today - I grasped what an amanuensis truly meant. Not meant - implied.

The point d'inflexion? The quite wonderful, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly". Directed by Julian Schnabel and based on the best selling french book of the same name by Jean-Dominique Bauby, the movie is in three words, quite excellent indeed.

For those who came in late, it is the story of a man who has "locked-in syndrome", i.e he is paralysed completely except for his eyes - but that does not affect his mental capabilities of simple thought, and more importantly wild imagination. He decides to fulfill a past contract for a book with his publisher - only he has to write by blinking.

Enter the quite wonderful ladies. Marie-Josée Croze as the Speech Therapist (the french word orthophoniste is quite wonderful indeed) and Anne Consigny as the amanuensis are quite wonderful. What could've been a dull, dreary dark story is suddenly a vivid trip through a man's imagination which unfettered by his corporal shackles flies higher and farther than ever. Any review of the film would be incomplete without a mention for Janusz Kaminski's awesome cinematography. I would've loved to watch this one on the large screen - I felt awkward, inadequate and repulsed just on a 14incher. I wonder what the real experience would've been.

Anyway, definitely a movie worth watching, if not for anything else - but for a really different story in a long time - and some awesome cinematic treatment.

PS: I remember my second rencontre with the word amanuensis while "studying" for my GRE vocab. I found the entire process richly rewarding, even though the expansion in my vocabulary might not've been as large over time as I would've desired. Its an exercise I urge everyone to undergo - and I wonder if there is a way I could repeat such an exercise for Hindi or Marathi. If anyone knows of such "wordlists" in these languages, please do comment and tell. I end with reprimanding these two boys for making hard work of the entire process. Avnish for example dares to suggest that the word "lexeme" is pointless and wastage of dictionary page in general. I wonder what a few people from a certain profession feel about that.

UPDATE: PPS: In a somewhat unexpected move JR actually replies. Here.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Master Patient?

Update: Jeev finished joint 25th at +4. Immelman won.

I distinctly remember that when I first heard the word, I actually misheard it as "master patient". This misunderstanding was compounded when one of my other good friends distinctly said 'Master Patient'. I remember being extremely confused as to this particular nomenclature and it was not until I looked, and looked hard into my dictionary that I came to realise (much to my relief) that it was NOT master patient after all. My belief in the english language was restored.

Anyway, that term could and should have a new meaning. Of course, going my general level of inanity at making these comments - most of you would have sussed out that I'm talking about the one and only "The Masters". Yes the one with the "green jacket and golf" thing, for those who came in late.

Now most Indians have never played golf. I'm one of them. In fact I've never even come close to a golf green - but then that is true about a lot of other playing surfaces too. But the average Indian middle class biological machine of the genus Homo Sapien Sapien would've played cricket, football of course - but also very probably touched a basketball, fondled a volleyball (both playing dodgeball), swum in chlorine infested waters and maybe even swung a racket or two. But Golf - which if you believe the story is meant to be Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden - should probably somewhere there read Ladies (and Indians) Forbidded. Or at least till now.

When in a few hours from now Jeev Milkha Singh walks out for his second round on the Augusta Greens he would be placed joint 11th. He's one shot under, 3 behind the leaders(Rose and Immelman) while everyone's favourite Tiger, languishes (by his high standards) BEHIND him, on a par round one. JM Singh as the Master's website refers to him, in a machinely sort of way that only machines can - is one of India's brightest ever sporting stars. And what's more awesome is that by paying absolutely no attention to him whatsoever, we let him stay that way.

He finished 2nd on the Asian Order of Merit last year (behind the quite fabulous KJ Choi) - and 37th at the Masters last year. Of course, he could totally screw up the next few rounds - but I would be very surprised if he did. With more experience and certainly more pedigree than ever before - lets hope and pray for a top 10 finish. Many people would be shocked if I say this, but a top 10 at the Masters is equivalent to at least an Olympic Bronze if not more. It simply is that big.

Of course, India as a nation needs an Indian to win a major. Then even Aaj Tak could not ignore that piece of news. Till then, we wait for these little flashes of joy across the tele (very rarely) and other electronic news flashes. Headlines Today had a story on TWO Indians playing at the Masters. They said "Daniel Chopra and ..." - That was when I flipped the channel. Sad, but true.

Friday, March 28, 2008

At the time

Rosenbaum once said to me
Lets go on a drive
I said yes
It seemed fun
At the time

We drove through the party bin
With no one in the back seat
He looked out, while i looked in
And we both said
This is fun
And maybe it was
At the time.

Rosenbaum once said to me
Find you a girl to marry
I said yes
It seemed fun
At the time

I looked high and I looked low
Through nooks corners and every row
Of his bungalow - of OUR bungalow.
And we found me a wife to marry
So I did.
It seemed like fun
And maybe it was
At the time.

Rosenbaum once said to me
Lets go for a walk
I said yes
It seemed fun
At the time

He showed me a nice grave to buy
All nice trees and fallin sky
He said, give it a try
Dont be shy
So I said yes
It seemed fun
And maybe it was
At the time.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

When I use xkcd to understand India Uncut

I must confess that I have not used this blog to make it clear what a big fan of Amit's writing I am. What with lines like

"Rediff reports: “Britney’s pregnant teen sister gets engaged”. That’s too much information for one headline, no? By the time Rediff’s readers process it, the baby will out and cutting records."

you can't help but admire the guy.

But its a scary day when I reference something he quotes via xkcd.

Fire and Ice
By Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Read that, and then READ THIS.

Hah, segfaults indeed!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Serious of Joking?

I'm also tempted to ask that old Derek Question on this. Sigh! as resident (self-appointed) expert I have a lot of writing to do on this subject.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


I wrote a bunch of stuff for LimerickDB.com.

John, a man from Darjeeling
Could have all the jobs under the ceiling
But whatever he did
He was totally forbid
From being the salesman travelling

Neil, the rich man with the cash
Was searching for space for his stash
But he totally forgot
That space cannot be got
Unless you grep it with backslash.

Rakhi the goddess of beauty
Was just trying to do her duty
What if she shed off her clothes
And hung out with rogues
She's still a pretty hot cutie.

Evangelising one day for firefox
Roger got a bout of chicken pox
No matter what he tried
Synaptic always replied
"Medicines are currently under locks."

** The next one is inspired by a friend. I swear I HAVE NOT heard Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.***

Mark Wahlberg was once my obsession
I once saw him at the station
With the funky bunch,
And I spat out my lunch
When they sung "It's such a good vibration"

Once upon a silvery tree
A quizzing fairy said to me
That you will always lose
Until you choose
Randall Munroe & XKCD

A girl was raped upon the shore
She went quizzing, so goes the lore
"Do you know
the Bond in Dr.No"
It's Sean Connery - she said Roger Moore.

So they did.


I made some more!

A 5 yr old cannot say fuck
Unless his teachers really suck
And they teach him to say
"A duck in the quay"
And he gets his d's and f's all mixed up.

** this one is dedicated to another friend of mine ***

Cut him up with a knife
And go and murder his wife
He's such a dumb bird
That he hasn't heard
"Coming Back to Life"!

Yesterday they confessed to me
And today I tell it to thee
Yes it so is true
Oh! the lying crew
It's all fixed - on WWE

I just have this disease
I just cannot cease
To end with stupid lines
So that it rhymes
Can someone help me please?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'm ambivalent about this ...

That means, I don't particularly approve of Maddy hijacking Neil's blog like this. As long as her every post is approved of, I guess, its fine.

PS: Another year, another HUGE R-I-P. Sigh!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

More linklove

I usually find Shruti Rajagopalan monotonous and mundane. But this piece is surprisingly insightful and very well written indeed.