Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Big Break

(Material for Seinfeld - 2. See previous here.)

Nowadays every channel you zap to, there's this big red banner at the bottom - 'Breaking News'

Any second, any hour of the day, any channel, there is a news breaking. Breaking here, breaking there, thick and fast - what I am I to do, 'A widow is getting burnt, bus rates in Bombay might go up' - don't know all the breaking news. What am I to do ? There's just so much breaking news!

And by the way, why do they call it breaking news anyway - is it breaking out of a cocoon, or does news come out of some convoluted, journalistic vortex hidden somewhere in the layers of space-time."Hey don't go near that building, a news is breaking there. Yup, that's it - it's just completed it's incubation period,it's
just peeking out - should be out in a minute. Shhh! don't disturb it."

And what is it with the bus rates in Bombay. They've not even gone up, for heaven's sake. They 'might' go up. How is that breaking news? I'll tell you what that is - that's broken news, you can't break it again. Sorry - I broke it, yes bus rates in b'bay - they 'might' go up any time now -that story - that was MY big break!

2 comments:

Arnold said...

hehe! nice material here... but like any good stand-up act, it has to be delivered in speech and not in writing... maybe u could provide me with material for my acts? what say?

btw, kunal thakar has denied any credit for the joke in the previous post... says he hasn't even heard it before... did you mean sawardekar instead?

Abhishek said...

umm.. it must be salil or dani then, anyways no harm in doing someone a good turn. And yes - it is material to be delivered in stand-up. If you imagine it, it will be funny. I don't mind collaborating at all. In fact my mind is bursting at the seams with material. watch this space!