Saturday, June 16, 2007

You can check in any time you like but ...

When Mr. Randy Spectre dropped dropped him round the corner at Buckingham Palace in the morning, asking him to walk down the last part, as he'd to rush, remembered the last moments of the headless Ian rather fondly -

"yep he was was a right ol' chappie, all right, wasn't ya - He'd scupper his suppah and head off in the morning to knock 'em heads off those Trinidadians, didn't ya. He was a right ol' bastard, eating heavy, boozin' all night and (whispers) layin' 'em girls some real hot eggs - i'm told. He was a completely changed man, when I came round in the evenin' to pick 'im up. He won't even cross the bluudy road, he didn't. He tell me that he didn't even know no Beefy, and absolutely compelled me to call him Sir Ian Botham. I'm tellin' ya - the things that that accursed castle does to ya - its made grown men shiver. The story's round all the town. They say, it turned the handsome prince's mind such, that he married some right-ol' witch. She wasn't even a looker, I've heard."

"I'm tellin' ya - the person that came back ain't my ol' Beefy. It's umm like, they've a small certification centre out there - they all go decked in and propah - come out with a shitty label, that they've gotta carry round, all their lives. Just to ensure that the drain pipes have been checked by 5 different people. Crazy I tell ya".
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"I'm delighted and very honoured, not just for myself but also the people who have helped me get there," Botham later told Radio Five Live.