Cheryl Tweedy tops list of famous celebrities in India

In an astonishing turn of events, ACC-Kneelson and Co., the statistics company announced that Cheryl Tweedy, England wingback Ashley Cole's wife and Girls Aloud star was the most recognized face in rural and semi-urban India. Cheryl Cole, as she prefers to be called, beat Sun-heartthrob Keely Hazell, American-Indian actress Aishwarya Rai and Big Boss moaner Rakhi Sawant in this poll conducted across Western and Central Maharashtra. Astonished ACC-Kneelson executive F.I.Gure told Toilets of India, that they had infact had wrapped the questionnaire sheets in some envelopes made from Toilets of India newspapers, all of which co-incidentally carried the picture of the said personailty.

ACC-Kneelson executives particularly remember the comments of a 17 year-old young boy called Digambar(Dig to his friends) who works at some of the mines in Gadchiroli - " I'd never thought coal could be so beautiful and precious." He was so earnest, that we had to include this tweed-lady in our list, and on further investigation we found that in a carefully structured campaign by Ms.Cole's executives to expand her 'celebrity blanket' they had inserted her pictures under the 'sport' sections of various national dailies, of which the ones in this previously mentioned Toilets of India has become an addiction amongst such boys as Digambar.

Suvaresh Stonefloor, officially the head of India's olympic association, but considered the First Citizen of Indian Sport and also it's Inventor, Father and Founding Figure and on whose birthday all Indian sportsman have to wear the Pink-Kurta and run the slimy streets of Pooh-ne, said that he welcomed, what he termed as a "new chapter in India's rich and glorious sporting heritage". He said that Ms.Cole should be invited to this Pooh-ne and be made the official mascot of the Pune Marathon. He attributed that such rise in sporting interest was only good for the development of sports in the country. After stringing so many words together in a few breaths, Mr Suvaresh said he felt dizzy, weak and incompetent, and was immediately admitted to the nearby discotheque.

Meanwhile Ms.Cole nay Tweedy's agents have confirmed that she is extremely "intrigued" by this turn of events, and said that she would be issuing a statement shortly. She is currently engaged in teaching Ashley Cole the nuances of keeping better possesion of the ball.