I've been slacking off on my blogging recently. I promise I shall return.
Anyway, you can enjoy this Robbo column till then.
In all the uproariously funny lines that he writes, he makes a point that I will never forget. Talking about Ronnie O'Sullivan he writes,
"If you judged a sporting entertainer by the number of times you gasped at what he did ..."
I'm going to be using that barometer.
Update: Jeev finished joint 25th at +4. Immelman won.
I distinctly remember that when I first heard the word, I actually misheard it as "master patient". This misunderstanding was compounded when one of my other good friends distinctly said 'Master Patient'. I remember being extremely confused as to this particular nomenclature and it was not until I looked, and looked hard into my dictionary that I came to realise (much to my relief) that it was NOT master patient after all. My belief in the english language was restored.
Anyway, that term could and should have a new meaning. Of course, going my general level of inanity at making these comments - most of you would have sussed out that I'm talking about the one and only "The Masters". Yes the one with the "green jacket and golf" thing, for those who came in late.
Now most Indians have never played golf. I'm one of them. In fact I've never even come close to a golf green - but then that is true about a lot of other playing surfaces too. But the average Indian middle class biological machine of the genus Homo Sapien Sapien would've played cricket, football of course - but also very probably touched a basketball, fondled a volleyball (both playing dodgeball), swum in chlorine infested waters and maybe even swung a racket or two. But Golf - which if you believe the story is meant to be Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden - should probably somewhere there read Ladies (and Indians) Forbidded. Or at least till now.
When in a few hours from now Jeev Milkha Singh walks out for his second round on the Augusta Greens he would be placed joint 11th. He's one shot under, 3 behind the leaders(Rose and Immelman) while everyone's favourite Tiger, languishes (by his high standards) BEHIND him, on a par round one. JM Singh as the Master's website refers to him, in a machinely sort of way that only machines can - is one of India's brightest ever sporting stars. And what's more awesome is that by paying absolutely no attention to him whatsoever, we let him stay that way.
He finished 2nd on the Asian Order of Merit last year (behind the quite fabulous KJ Choi) - and 37th at the Masters last year. Of course, he could totally screw up the next few rounds - but I would be very surprised if he did. With more experience and certainly more pedigree than ever before - lets hope and pray for a top 10 finish. Many people would be shocked if I say this, but a top 10 at the Masters is equivalent to at least an Olympic Bronze if not more. It simply is that big.
Of course, India as a nation needs an Indian to win a major. Then even Aaj Tak could not ignore that piece of news. Till then, we wait for these little flashes of joy across the tele (very rarely) and other electronic news flashes. Headlines Today had a story on TWO Indians playing at the Masters. They said "Daniel Chopra and ..." - That was when I flipped the channel. Sad, but true.
Because they quiz before every game! Here is Micah Richards in his column for BBC Sport.
We get there[Manchester city centre] at about 6pm and always have a general knowledge quiz the night before the game, which is run by Les Chapman our kit-man. We do not split into teams, it is every man for himself!
The best by far is Didi Hamann, he has got a lot of knowledge, and the worst has got to be Kelvin Etuhu. He is actually good academically but some of his answers are ridiculous.
Me, I'm in the middle somewhere. I have not really got a specialist subject, although I normally do well with the music questions.
It really pained me on seeing India lose. In fact, I don't think I've had this feeling since Manchester United lost to Arsenal in the FA Cup final - and really can't remember the last time I felt something like this with respect to cricket. Maybe it was when we didn't win the series in West Indies. Anyway, from a personal perspective - I'm amazed at how much I care, and how much it pains!
Firstly, there is no excuse for not drawing. True, Bucknor and Benson are idiots - but still, losing 3 wickets in 5 balls! That is not justified. RP looked more miffed than really pained, and Ishant Sharma should be told better than to leave his bat hanging like that. True, they are tail-enders, but sometimes when misfortune befalls - you've got to to stand up and be counted. And it was the situation which got to them, not Michael Clarke.
I think India should NOT complain about what happened. The questions will be raised - by the media and by a whole lot of other people. Nothing will change the result though - and India's main aim from here on should be a) Not to lose any of the remaining tests, while trying to win at least one. We've won the last one at Adelaide, and drawing at Perth would be as good as winning.
No doubt, the Aussies behaved inappropriately - Harsha Bhogle euphemistically calling it "an imperfect victory". Though that might console a few, fact is - India's two down, and things are looking pretty dire going into Perth. Rather than cry and whine and complain over spilt milk there are a number of pressing issues India needs to think about
1. What to do with Jaffer? Should Sehwag be inducted in?
2. Same with Yuvraj. Really seems to be struggling, Padukone or no Padukone.
3. The batsmen, especially Ganguly have struggled against Hogg. They've given too many wickets to the Hogg/Symonds combine. They're not really of that class, that they should be troubling the experienced Indian lineup.
That is my two-cents. I smirk at the joke Gaurav makes here. But needless to say, totally disagree.
Me, my friend and the monkey-man will be running in the 4.5 km section of the 22nd Pune International Marathon, day after(this Sunday). Please come see us blaze the tracks. Congratulate the guys who'll win, and we'll wish you back in return.
And if you're a 20 something girl, satisfying all the frequently mentioned criteria, and really impressed by us - then remember, the other two guys have girlfriends.
(PS: All this running enthu is thanks to Dhammo. You've inspired me for ages.)
(PPS: Just for the record, my target is to complete the distance in 1 hr.)
(PPPS: If you're wondering if you're reading the right Abhishek's blog - the one who would sit around, reading books and watching movies, imitating a hibernating bear - then don't go anywhere. This is the Abhishek. I'm just trying to improve!)
I've been recently sad that the quality of Robbo's work had gone down. But, pathos, they say brings out the best in you. So please read Robbo's rants about the crap weekend that England Sport had. Here are a few quotes in case you can;t got through it entirely.
About the Rugby WC
"All I can say is, thank God I was supporting someone. I'd be surprised if there was a neutral on the planet who hadn't switched off by half-time. There was a lot of what my Dad calls 'hyperbowl' from the combox, but by God it was bloody dreary stuff."
About Gordon Brown being there
By the by, why was Gordon Brown there? I've got absolutely no problem with a Scot being PM, so long as he doesn't pretend he's English from time to time. It just doesn't suit the bloke. You are Scottish, mate!
Just because it may take a long time for your countrymen to reach the final of anything, it doesn't mean you have to gatecrash the English party.
I think it would've been good to see him react like every other Scot I've met since Saturday, and say "bad luck, pal", with a barely-disguised smile playing around his lips.
And in conclusion
All in all, you're left with that feeling English sportsmen are better than any other when it comes to one thing. Heroic Defeat. Agonising Failure. Noble Effort. And it's bloody depressing.
Even though I'm a Massa fan!
(PS: Have you wondered that McLaren could've won, had Alonso dropped off to allow Hamilton to get by?)
We have 3 world cups going on at one time. I guess the biggest of them must be the Rugby World Cup in France, but in India it's the Twenty20 WC(crap!) that's bagging all the headlines - and in China it's the Women's Football World Cup.
Unique, or what?
When I'm gone, a player will come and amaze my progeny. I will not envy them. One Federer in a lifetime is enough.
All filtered from the BBC's much bigger list.
"Giles needs removing immediately. The only thing he can turn is my stomach."
Someone on the messageboard.
"I took Kanu on the Tuesday before the first game of the season because I never had any strikers. He said he hadn't kicked a ball since last season and I asked him if he'd been training. He said 'Yes, I've been running around the park some days' and I thought 'Yeah, I bet you have!'"
Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp on Kanu.
"I had the Baggy Green in my hand a few days ago and smelt it. I love the smell - it smells of sweat and beer."
Andrew Symonds on the delights of Australia's famous cap.
(This after he was accused of not being loyal enough to Australia due to his English birth and such tosh.)
"At least I will be able to watch the Ashes, because I won't be sleeping."
Wigan boss Paul Jewell is left anticipating a restless night after his team's 4-0 loss to Liverpool.
"Get your s*** stars off our flag!"
Barmy Army to Aussie fans!
"Gilo goes up for lbw - umpire Koertzen looks at him as if he's just found him in bed with his daughter."
Cricket commentary from Ben Dirs on the BBC website for day four of the second Ashes Test.
