England's Road to WC Glory.

Step One :

Play Trinidad AND Tobago,(not win) draw with Sweden and finish second in group

Step Two: (PreQ)

Beat Germany 5-1.

Step Three: (Quarters)

Beat Argentina 1-0

Step Four:(Semis)

France. Concede penalty which Pires promptly misses and Gary Neville scores much to his own suprise. Win.

Step Five: (Finals)

Meet Brazil. Half time 2-0. Paul Gascoigne appears, wearing plastic breasts and cocktail stains on his shirt and urges the lads to do it for England (well, no one quite knows what he's said but it works). Terry nods in one and Gerrard scores the other. Extra-time. Crouch comes one and scores, fainting in the process.

There, simple.

(Simplified Robbo)