Aane waalaa pal ...

I and Kapeesh were talking recently about how one looked back at old writings and often felt embarrassed, overcome by a sudden urge to purge the said material and disown any claims to the same. One often wonders if and how once one could've been so naive/stupid/inarticulate/idiotic and a litany of similar epithets.

I however very rarely feel this way - as the stronger feeling is that of understanding and assessing personal development in terms of thinking, writing in specific and expression in general. I was once obsessed with seeing the stats for this blog - and often cast the digital version of an envious eye at folks like this guy, this guy and sometimes even this guy. I dreamed one day of lazing around at home while adwords clinked money into the pit of my boundless web-sack.

A few months later however the realization dawned, and more profoundly so after the experience with revisits of older posts, that I should firstly write for myself - like a semi-personal diary for book-keeping and suchlike. I once tried writing a diary, but the whole enterprise is inherently flawed in that the basic premise is that no one is meant to read what is written, and though this may permit jottings of more personal details, totally no attention is paid to language and structure - the diary becoming more of a faceless log-book rather than a living, talking journal.

One of the things i most enjoy reading from that time - and one which floods back memories of dial-ups and Kimaya among other things is this thread from the now-defunct Fergusson College Cultural Committee forum. Do read if you have the time - and the desire to look back into my writing past. It might not be the best example for the contrast that I want to depict. But the effort would be worth in the content itself.

And yes, read quick - before I decide that this post is too amateurish and needs to fall prey to the delete button.