P Diddy in Bloomingdale's?

That is the simile this reporter prefers for one Monsieur Barwick. You HAVE to read this rotflmao article about Capello's "unveiling".

Here are a few gems :

"He says that, when he meets up with the squad in a month's time, he will be able to speak English," relayed his assistant.

It seemed an extraordinary claim. Images came to mind of Capello wandering round his mansion in Lugano, a Linguaphone cassette-player dangling round his neck and a set of flash-cards in his back pocket.

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And what about the arrival of his backroom team of four fellow Italians, who between them will be costing the FA an extra £1.4m a year?

Was this not the footballing equivalent of buying an extremely expensive gadget for Christmas, only to unwrap it and find that it won't work without four additional batteries (not supplied)?

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And it ends, fortunately in hope

Capello might be overpaid. He might be as short of English as his new side are of world-class goalkeepers.

But if he controls his players like he controlled the wilful British media, he'll be in with a chance.

Read the whole article now!