Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole ...

This is why we originally supported Man United. Last minute goals, and a baby faced assasin called Ole Gunnar Solskjær.

The best way to look back at the year...

Read the Google Zeitgeist

How a 2500 year record could be broken

A sandbox at Wikipedia aims to beat the Mahabharata in being the longest poem. You can read it here.

However with only 1413 lines done in 3 months and with more that 1.8 million lines to go, this might take some time. Also, more importantly this will test if an open community can create something artistic / creative. If this works out maybe in the future we can have books, novels and maybe even art created by groups consisting of hundreds of thousands of people across the world.

Anyway, I have major cribs. I can't accept the fact that something called 'The Epic of Roy' can beat the Mahabharata. Also the first lines :

One day in a village in Russia, cold
A young boy named Bryce had turned thirteen years old.
He found out from the mainstream media
That there was a site called Wikipedia,

are not exactly awe-inspiring. BTW, I do not claim to have read the whole thing. As of now I am at line 57, and it's getting quite boring.

Why I am left absolutely frustrated ....

Reason : Chelsea.

Are these guys going to lose or what. Last week Everton had the better of them. They really deserved to lose that game, and they came away with 3 points. Same yesterday, at Wigan. Really, really deserved to drop two points, if not all three. I just wonder, how long can they keep coming up with such late winners and spectacular goals to stay in touch. It can't happen forever.

Remember the first day of the season last year at Wigan with the Crespo shot, the game at Arsenal where Essien scored a fantastic goal, and also I think they deserved to lose the game at Old Trafford. Man U dominated that game, and still they came up with the point. I'm totally exasperated. Yes, yesterday's win against Aston Villa was tasty, but what is more important is that Chelsea drop points, because we are going to. There just has to be a period when we will slump, and Chelsea will be on top. Then it can all disappear very quickly. What I am most worried about is that this is Chelsea's slump and they're still winning. Today I'm feeling as pessimistic as David Renwick. Hopefully, my fears will be ill-founded.

Why is it that ...

When the official websites of the Indian Army, the India Navy suck, the website for the India Air Force is much better. The best website of the lot is however, the Join the Indian army website.

Uncle Sam all over again ...

"Does contributing to printing media interests you?" (sic)
"Does throwing up all over inconsequential pieces of blogsphere excite you"
"Does seeing stupid turds like Amit Verma take over and monopolize the publishing world make your stomach turn"

If your answer is in affirmative, we have an offer for you.

I'm part of a youth magazine called yaYM (Yet Another Youth Magazine) also called as AdhooraPoona. There have been many other similar attempts of the kind, and frankly they have been pretty good. However, we decided that there was no magazine for the physically atrophied and mentally mangled. So we decided to launch yaYM. We will cover all the issues of burning importance to today's youth - Rakhi Sawant's vital statistics, progress of all your favourite stars in Big Boss and of course most importantly vital issues in education and health, like "how to stare at your teacher without contracting AIDS".

So if you think you've got the balls, then please do not apply. Only seriously confused people with nothing better to do, might consider knocking on our hollowed portals.

Please contact me as soon as you're done with recanting your religion, and saying "AdhooraPoona, Poora Poona" 200 times.

(PS: this is an obscure joke that very few people will get. But, wtf!)

Added Snap Preview Anywhere (SPA)

This blog now features Snap Preview Anywhere. SPA is a nifty tool that allows you to preview any link from this site before navigating to it.

Try it with google, yahoo and rediff.

There are two winners here ...

One : Wikipedia, for the amazing detail.(Match that Britannica)
Two: The japanese people themselves - attraction grows immensely.

D'Oh - the thing I'm talking about is the amazing detail on Toilets in Japan article.Note the line where it says,

Depending on the exact model, these bidets are designed to open the lid when they sense an user nearby, wash the anus or vulva of the user (including a number of pulsating and massaging functions), dry afterwards with warm air, flush automatically and close the lid after use.

I remember Will Smith raving about these once in an interview, and another thing which he said has stuck,

"If you feel too much in awe of someone, imagine him on the pot with his pants down."

Always works, people.

My Favourite Teacher

I know this will sound kind of corny, but here's to the most progressive and amazing teachers around in Pune. Bapat Sir,(rather Bapat Classes) launches his own website - check it out.

(PS: More gushing testimonial later)

A few brilliant quotes from the sporting week

All filtered from the BBC's much bigger list.

"Giles needs removing immediately. The only thing he can turn is my stomach."
Someone on the messageboard.

"I took Kanu on the Tuesday before the first game of the season because I never had any strikers. He said he hadn't kicked a ball since last season and I asked him if he'd been training. He said 'Yes, I've been running around the park some days' and I thought 'Yeah, I bet you have!'"
Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp on Kanu.

"I had the Baggy Green in my hand a few days ago and smelt it. I love the smell - it smells of sweat and beer."
Andrew Symonds on the delights of Australia's famous cap.
(This after he was accused of not being loyal enough to Australia due to his English birth and such tosh.)

"At least I will be able to watch the Ashes, because I won't be sleeping."
Wigan boss Paul Jewell is left anticipating a restless night after his team's 4-0 loss to Liverpool.

"Get your s*** stars off our flag!"
Barmy Army to Aussie fans!

"Gilo goes up for lbw - umpire Koertzen looks at him as if he's just found him in bed with his daughter."
Cricket commentary from Ben Dirs on the BBC website for day four of the second Ashes Test.

Ever wanted Wikipedia offline ?

Well now you can have it. I know it might be a bit irrelevant when you have a decent all-day internet connection, but if you are using a laptop that cannot be in a hotspot everyday or a mobile device with the same problem you might often want to have the entire net / slices of it offline. This is a problem that i faced especially when I was on dial-up. But now, there is a solution.

Say hello to, Webaroo. Webaroo is a nifty application that allows you to download the data on the internet in the form of Webpacks. These are slices of the internet created by Webaroo, and can be found under hundreds of diverse topics. And one of these is Wikiepedia. The wikipedia webpack is just 6Gb and the compressed zip is 4.5Gb. This has veeb possible because there are little to no images in this webpack as the Wikipedia images gallery at last count exceeded more than 75 Gb!

So go quick, and check this out. You never know when you might be stranded in sub-saharan desert and needed to find the closes oasis.

BTW,

You might have noticed that I switched to the new Blogger. This is actually the 3rd version of my blog. Thanks to the wayback machine you can see the previous one here. Unfortunately the first 'all green' version has not been archived. Sob.Sob.

How did we miss this!

The new Chuck Norris of the Kannada Cricket Watcher.

Kid to storekeeper: What colours is this 1:6 cricketer diecast model available in ?
Storekeeper : Just in Kemp

Q) Describe the South African team in one phrase ?
Black and White and Kemp all over.

Q) How did India get beaten in the one-day series ?
Black and Kemp

Q) What do you call an Indian female who hooks up with Justin Kemp in Russia?
Leela Kempinsky

Q) Why did Irfan Pathan go to the opthalmologist?
Because he was seeing Kemp everywhere.

Q) How were India's bottomlines after the SA tour?
In Kemp.

Q) Why did SA win the poll for the best ODI team ever?
Because they had a very good Kemp-aign.

Q) What would you do if SA lost a wicket and the Man came in to bat?
Switch to Code Kemp.
---
PS1 : Ok, ok, these are nowhere as good at the real thing.

PS2: For all those who don't get the joke, in kannada, kemp == red. Now go read again.

Perhaps Linux

Foreword: If you have not listened to "Perhaps Love" by John Denver, this will make no sense to you. So please to download from appropriate illegal means that you have. You can always read original lyrics here.

Perhaps Linux is like some software thing, a few lines of code newborn,
It exists to boot-up faster, it exists to keep it on,
And in those times of trouble, when Windows gives up on you,
The songs of the penguin will still ring true.

Perhaps Linux is like a prickly thorn, perhaps a needle hole
It is hard to install it at first, sometimes it stings you sore,
But once you get the hang of it, and figure out the rightest way,
The memory of Windows will almost fade away.

Oh, Linux to some is like the night, to some as bright as day,
For some a way of surfing, for some a way to play,
And some say Linux is GUIs, and some say command line,
And some say Gnome is the best, and some say KDE is fine.

Perhaps linux is like the open sky, full of stars and the moon,
Like the next issue of playboy, an upgrade can't come too soon,
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true,
I'll name my newest patch after you.

And some say Linux is GUIs, and some say command line,
And some say Gnome is the best, and some say KDE is fine.

Perhaps linux is like the open sky, full of stars and the moon,
Like the next issue of playboy, an upgrade can't come too soon,
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true,
I'll name my newest patch after you.

(PS: The original intent of preserving original lyrics AFAP, didn't happen completely. An out-n-out funny version is however expected soon, depending on a number of factors inluding Navjyot Singh Sidhu's position in mid-january and the availability of a certain DVD at the local library.)

Matt Stone is ripped off.

Michael Moore in his 'Bowling for Columbine'had this animation 3min feature called 'The Brief History of the United States of America". (See it on YouTube) Also IIRC, just before this clip, there is an interview with South Park co-creater Matt Stone. Going by the style of this clip, it is pretty obvious to the user that his clip must've been created by the guys behind South Park. Turns out not. IMDb states, on this page that the whole clip was another creation of the Harold Moss - Micheal Moore combine. I dunno, what to say.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to point towards a rip-off of a rip-off. The Daily Telegraph, parodies this clip to produce 'A Brief History of the Ashes'. If this draws a smirk, then be content. Also note similarity in the lines, and rehashed end portions at the end with Star Wars / Kill Bill rip-offs.

Day after exam labours ...

The day after led me to working non-stop on the Website for Chakravyuh. Please go and see it - and more importantly, do come.

Cheers,

These guys are good

If you'd had time over the weekend to take your eyes off the Chelsea - Man Utd game, then you'd have noticed David James' new "Clark Kent" hairdo. Now, i've never loved how it looked earlier, and contrary to much public perception in the UK, i kinda like it. Anyway make up you mind with this,



And btw the whole point of making this post was to direct my few faithful readers to this hilarious link. The guys at the BBC Fun and Games section, really take their job seriously!

Cheryl Tweedy tops list of famous celebrities in India

In an astonishing turn of events, ACC-Kneelson and Co., the statistics company announced that Cheryl Tweedy, England wingback Ashley Cole's wife and Girls Aloud star was the most recognized face in rural and semi-urban India. Cheryl Cole, as she prefers to be called, beat Sun-heartthrob Keely Hazell, American-Indian actress Aishwarya Rai and Big Boss moaner Rakhi Sawant in this poll conducted across Western and Central Maharashtra. Astonished ACC-Kneelson executive F.I.Gure told Toilets of India, that they had infact had wrapped the questionnaire sheets in some envelopes made from Toilets of India newspapers, all of which co-incidentally carried the picture of the said personailty.

ACC-Kneelson executives particularly remember the comments of a 17 year-old young boy called Digambar(Dig to his friends) who works at some of the mines in Gadchiroli - " I'd never thought coal could be so beautiful and precious." He was so earnest, that we had to include this tweed-lady in our list, and on further investigation we found that in a carefully structured campaign by Ms.Cole's executives to expand her 'celebrity blanket' they had inserted her pictures under the 'sport' sections of various national dailies, of which the ones in this previously mentioned Toilets of India has become an addiction amongst such boys as Digambar.

Suvaresh Stonefloor, officially the head of India's olympic association, but considered the First Citizen of Indian Sport and also it's Inventor, Father and Founding Figure and on whose birthday all Indian sportsman have to wear the Pink-Kurta and run the slimy streets of Pooh-ne, said that he welcomed, what he termed as a "new chapter in India's rich and glorious sporting heritage". He said that Ms.Cole should be invited to this Pooh-ne and be made the official mascot of the Pune Marathon. He attributed that such rise in sporting interest was only good for the development of sports in the country. After stringing so many words together in a few breaths, Mr Suvaresh said he felt dizzy, weak and incompetent, and was immediately admitted to the nearby discotheque.

Meanwhile Ms.Cole nay Tweedy's agents have confirmed that she is extremely "intrigued" by this turn of events, and said that she would be issuing a statement shortly. She is currently engaged in teaching Ashley Cole the nuances of keeping better possesion of the ball.

This is compelling reading

Anurag Kashyap, the cult-man of Indian cinema is writing a blog. Read comments too. In short, fun comes.

(Tip : After numerous death threats and suchlike, thanks to George for this.)

The Ultimate Status Symbol

"The author once ran into an extreme form of delivery processing when he sent an e-mail message to a person who claims to get 600 messages a day. His identity will not be discolsed here, lest half the readers of this book also send him e-mail. Let us call him John.

John has installed an email robot that checks every incoming message to see if it is from a new correspondent. If so, it sends him back a canned reply explaining that John can no longer personally read all his e-mail. Instead, he has produced a personal FAQ document that answers many questions he is commonly asked. Normally newsgroups have FAQs, not people.

John's FAQ gives his address, fax and telephone numbers and tells how to contact his company. It explains how to get him as a speaker and get his papers and other documents. It also provides pointers to software he has written, a conference he is running, a standard he is an author of, and so on. Perhaps this approach is necessary, but maybe a personal FAQ is the ultimate status symbol."

Andrew.S.Tanenbaum
Computer Networks
Chapter : The World Wide Web.

(PS: No link, i had to type this out. And no, unfortunately but not unpredictably our Computer Networks syllabus does not cover this chapter.)

(PS2: I need to get and document some more gems from that book here.)

Gazza, strip!

England's next foreign assignment is a trip to Israel. And this, as usual, gives Robbo a chance to say,

I just hope Paul Gascoigne doesn't tag along and see a sign for the Gaza Strip - he might think it's some kind of order. Those people have enough to deal with, without the troubled Geordie shimmying into town yelling Fog on the Tyne.

Read full.

However, with the "new and redesigned", Sportstar bug hitting the BBC columns as well, I'm not quite sure I like it. Robbo too is slowly fading away. Such gems are harder to find. Sob. Sob.

This one's good...

We have this thing about matching similar looking celebrities. Well, i think I found a real good one here.






OK. I know, the first one is not famous by any stretch of the imagination in India. Her name is Emmanuelle Béart, find out more here. The second is, dare i say, our very own, Gurdeep Kohli - those lovely days of Sanjeevani!

You have to accept, this is a good one!

French Poltics and AJAX ?

The french always make you gasp. The things they do are often incomprehensible, and their system manages to confound even the keenest observers. So Ségolène Royal become the official candidate for the Parti Socialiste, fine. Then they go and throw at tart at her face.(a verb for this action exists). Ok fine, he was Belgian, but so what? This guy started with Gates, and has already done a wide variety from Jean-Luc Godard to Nicolas Sarkozy.

OK, now lets examine the PS situation. They are as the name suggest France's main Left wing party, and with the lady in question getting the nod over her seemingly chauvinistic colleagues, it seems very likely that they will come to power. The 'right' wing Chirac's UMP, itself has pretty left wing like policies, to I expect the 'moderate' left to be more lefter than normal. Anyway, what surprises me is that, unlike what we've seen with the left in many parts of the world, these guys are really chic and swanky. All we need to do is look at their new Beta Site under development. It's got AJAX, draggable bars, streaming video, everything! Its really great.

Now if only, the BJP or the congress took a leaf out of these guys' books. I guess it will come, when Indian politicians can no longer ignore the sheer number of people who will be online in a few years time. Till then, for budding web-designers in India, looking for work, it's slimy college fests and non-paying poster jobs that await!

Jakob Nielsen and the Flash Gordon Code

I have always resited the use of useless flash splash pages, especially on webpages, where they serve no use, consume precious bandwidth and basically shoo away a lot of less patient and less driven clickers. So when the Webby's decide to gove awards in the category "BEST HOME/WELCOME PAGE", I thought are these guys ignorant or what. Turns out there is always a case for Flash and Splash pages. If used tastefull that is.

So, this page is brilliant, as is this. So more exploration on the Webby winners page also can provide a whole day of fun.

It's not Sania Mirza but ...

it's Shazia Mirza. A british standup comedian (comedienne?) coming to Mocha courtesy the British Council. Here are the details:

Saturday 11 November 2006 at 7.00 pm

Venue : Mocha, Law College Road

Cheers,